Thank you both for the response. She has never paid me back and I have never asked. Honestly, I think of it as a gift, so she doesn’t need to pay me. I ended up telling her that I would prefer to help with a couple payments rather than give her the money. I told her I can cover her moving costs or pay her medical bills. My financial help will stop there as I have my own bills and family to provide for. Thank you for letting me know it is OK for me to change my mind. I love my friend, but she needs to figure her financial situation out.

Yes. A small part of me feels obligated because I generally keep my word, but this is something I am OK with since its a much smaller amount and I don’t feel like I am enabling her actions.

Here’s an update: 10 days ago, I called my friend to follow up on my email offering to help by paying for a service (movers, a medical bill, etc). She declined and asked if I could get her a prepay Visa card or if I could add her to my bank card. I really feel that was overstepping her boundaries and I declined. Today, she sent me a request asking for $2000. At this point, I don’t feel like helping at all as I feel she wants the money to pay her credit cards and that’s not how I want to help her. She has about $70,000 worth of credit card debt and until she changes her spending habits, I don’t see that changing in the future. I would rather help with one time expenses or not help at all as I’m not going to enable her spending. I’m pretty sure I am right, but feel a little guilty for sticking with my boundaries.

I already have one dependent and don’t need a second. 🙂