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Need advice in marriage

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  • February 16, 2015 at 8:27 pm #72840
    2003Pal
    Participant

    I am married from past 2 months. I am not able to understand my relation with my husband yet.

    My husband acts wierdly at times. When he feels like he will speak to me and then suddenly he stops speaking. On asking he will say nothing is bothering him. But he will not talk to me at all, will not speak anything. we both will keep sitting in room , both mum, and just watch tv.

    This really pisses me off. Then he will ask me, that too through message(not face to face) after few days that u seem upset. Does he not himself realise that it is him who is upset not me. The same is happening from past two days.

    How should i handle such behaviour? is it me who is thinking too much? I am really disappointed with his behaviour.

    February 17, 2015 at 5:43 am #72881
    Karin
    Participant

    Hi 2003pal,

    Sounds like a difficult situation to be in. I’d say: talk to him, but that seems not to be working.
    There is another thing to try: relax. Work on your own happiness.
    And another thing: try not to watch tv together, but take a walk outside, or have a nice dinner together, take a ride…

    I do hope that you guys can work it out 🙂

    February 17, 2015 at 11:37 am #72904
    Dhayan
    Participant

    Namastay 2003pal,

    To take the advice of Thich Naht Hahn you can address your loved one with the following words:

    “dear loved one, I know that you are suffering” “I know that I may contribute to your suffering” “I want you to know that I care about your suffering,” and “help me understand your suffering so I can help you.”

    These words are indeed very powerful and have helped me through difficult times in my marriage as well. There is a lot of power in caring about the suffering of another as you would care and love about yourself.

    Hope this helps.

    February 18, 2015 at 2:57 pm #72959
    Fahmie
    Participant

    Hi 2003pal,

    What you said about your partner, “When he feels like he will speak to me and then suddenly he stops speaking” speaks volume with me. Im going through the same thing in my relationship. I’m trying to be there for them, but it usually drives them into a ball and passive behaviour. My only advice to you is, express that you’re here for them, if and when they’re ready to communicate. Their behaviour is really selfish in my opinion, but what can you do? Just concentrate on yourself and occupy your time with personal activities, don’t fall into bitterness.

    I hope things turn around for you and me both.

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