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Need some Help letting go

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  • March 23, 2017 at 6:05 pm #141409
    grounded
    Participant

    Hello!

    I have been struggling for a while to let go of my ex boyfriend. I was in a really deep low for a very long time, all i could do was cry. For a while, the last 7 months I was doing okay, living life but recently found out that he is seeing someone new and happy. This brought me down to a whole new low. I was able to pull myself out of it faster than before, but i feel like i need to make some changes. I am still waiting for him to come back even though I know that he won’t. I am waiting for the happiness that he made me feel and to be happy like i was in the past (when I was with him). I can’t remember a time before him when I was happy and when I ask myself what do I really want, I can’t come up with any answers. I feel stuck, I feel afraid to leave him behind and i’m not sure where to conquer those fears. I was wondering, if taking the course would help or if you have any other recommendations that would help me out? I often watch people and see how they live such a carefree loving and happy life without being brought down by everything around them and that is what I want most, but i’m not sure how to get there.

    I guess what i’m wondering is if the course will help at this time, or if you have any other suggestions for me to try?

    Any help would be appreciated!

    March 23, 2017 at 6:22 pm #141411
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear grounded:

    Regarding the course- I didn’t take it so I can’t comment on it. You can get information about it in the tiny Buddha Home page.

    You wrote that you would like to “live such a carefree loving and happy life without bring brought down ..”- I personally don’t know anyone who does live a carefree loving and happy life on a regular basis. Feelings change, like the weather. Sometimes a person feels good, at other times, not. To expect to feel always good is unrealistic. Anxiety and stress are commonplace. I think of it as the human condition.

    Best a person can do is aim at feeling better tomorrow by making better choices today. When you feel anxious, sad, unhappy- don’t get alarmed, as if it is an unnatural state of affairs. Don’t try to escape the feelings (that will only make it last longer). Stay with it, for as long as it last. Be as CALM as you can and the feeling (good, bad) will pass.

    Did you ever attend psychotherapy?

    anita

    March 24, 2017 at 5:55 am #141445
    BT
    Participant

    Been there too. What finally allowed me to move on was the realization that mulling day in and day out on no longer being with that person and how things could be now or in the future with that person, prevented me from really loving and appreciating that person even now and loving and appreciating that relationship in my life. Instead of brooding over the negative (that person is no longer here; my life could be better if that person was here), I started to appreciate the person and my past relationship with her as a gift in my life. The time spent with her was a perfect time. Mulling over the fact that the relationship was over, I lose the gift, the happiness, the appreciation of ever having that relationship. Allow yourself to love that person now because real love never fades away – and be happy you have that love. Love the time you had with that person and understand and appreciate that time because it was a gift that will stay with you forever. Looking at it all this way allows you to be happy about the relationship. Looking at it the way I believe you are looking at it now takes away all the good thing that came from that person and relationship……..a good illustration of what I am trying to say is conveyed in the movie 5 to 7……check it out.

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