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Need words of encouragement/hope.

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  • May 10, 2016 at 6:58 pm #104203
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Andy:

    Seems to me you are overwhelmed with making school/ job decisions, your mother’s health, seeing your ex in school with her boyfriend and not having a close relationship with someone to comfort you and help you through these stressors.

    I don’t know if you exercise, could help to join an exercise/ sports activity in school, where you get to exercise and socialize at the same time. Maybe a yoga class. Maybe … a support group in school. Maybe counseling?

    anita

    May 11, 2016 at 2:37 pm #104282
    Andy
    Participant

    Anita,

    I’m having a very bad day again.

    It was good. Everything going good.

    Then it hit me again.

    Saw my ex and her new boy.

    Felt pretty bad because now I’m having thoughts that’s he’s better than me. In every aspect.

    And it hurts really bad.

    I don’t know what to do. I can’t shake heart break.

    It’s been so tough. I can’t let go.

    Andy

    May 11, 2016 at 9:04 pm #104317
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Andy:

    Did we discuss seeing a counselor? It may be a good idea.

    When you see her and it feels badly, don’t fall all the way into the deep end. It feels badly, so it does, endure it and go on. If you expect to never feel badly when you see her, that wouldn’t work. Moving on doesn’t mean feeling no pain (nice when that happens when it does). Moving on means feeling the pain and moving on.

    anita

    May 12, 2016 at 8:50 am #104341
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dar Andy:

    How are you feeling and how are you functioning today?

    anita

    May 12, 2016 at 11:20 am #104373
    Andy
    Participant

    Anita,

    We have discussed therapy. Is it depression? I go through cycles. I feel really good then feel really low.

    I didn’t look at her when they walked by I just kept in conversation with my friends and tried not to show anything.

    You’re right with the feel the pain and move on.

    I went to my car and cried a bit because I just felt less of what I am.

    The day got somewhat better after that. I remember my art was going to be put around school and that the art director wanted me to take some of his classes.

    Then I went to Disneyland and took some photos because I’m a photographer. With a friend.

    I wanted to talk to my mom about my depression but I feel as if it’s a burden because she is going though her cancer stuff.

    Today I feel just neutral. Not high or low. More low than high I guess. Empty. But not too bad.

    How are you?

    Andy

    May 12, 2016 at 6:32 pm #104405
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Andy:

    Disneyland? You must live in So CA? My old home, 1987-2013. What kinds of photos did you take in Disneyland I wonder. And it is your photos that are going to be exhibited around school? What is the theme in those photographs?

    When did the depression start for you? (did we discuss it already?)

    As far as how I am feeling, every once in a while throughout the day, i am aware that I feel scared. My anxiety (and depression) of past is no longer this overwhelming experience, unbearable, but instead fear here and fear there. I am paying attention better than ever what thoughts go through my brain and what it is that I get scared about.

    Makes me think, when you are depressed, do you pay attention to the thoughts before and while you feel depressed? Obviously you know what you were thinking today in the car when you cried, having seen your ex girlfriend. But otherwise, at other times?

    And did we communicate about it, your relationship with your mother, how has it been all these years? And your father?

    I asked quite a few questions, not knowing if we ‘talked’ about any of it (didn’t review the thread). Answer any if you feel like it.

    Take good care of yourself:

    anita

    May 13, 2016 at 7:19 pm #104480
    Andy
    Participant

    Anita,

    Yes! Only about 20 minutes away from Disneyland. Southern, California. The best.

    My theme was silhouettes and sunsets. I guess. My photos won’t be on display but I made the posters for the art show to advertise for the art show. Unfortunately I didn’t enter any pieces to show in the exhibit.

    The depression started after the break up I guess. I thought my ex and I would get back together but she had a new boyfriend two weeks after.

    And it hit me really hard.

    I too like you feel scared. I don’t know what I’m afraid of. Maybe I’m insecure.

    I’m not sure what stems your depression but I hope you’re my feel better. I’m always here to talk if you feel down.

    I’m feeling weird today.

    Andy

    May 13, 2016 at 7:55 pm #104483
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Andy:

    You are dealing with a breakup and your mother is sick. I wonder how much your mother’s health worries you. If you have a good relationship with her, why don’t you talk to her about it. Tell her how you feel, open up to her. Let her know. It may strengthen her, not weaken her, to know you need her to comfort you.

    And the counselor you saw, probably should see him/ her again. Get into regular counseling with a competent therapist. I think it is a good time for you to do that.

    Sunsets and silhouettes. Must be beautiful photographs.

    Take care of yourself and keep posting and please let me know of developments.

    anita

    May 13, 2016 at 8:24 pm #104486
    Andy
    Participant

    Anita,

    I was thinking about telling her but I am worried. I don’t want to stress her out more.

    Maybe I should tell her. It’s hard to tell her without breaking out in tears. The last time she asked if I was depressed and I said yeah. And I started to cry.

    And the photos came out great. If I could post on here I would but I don’t think I can post photos.

    I’m sad right now honesty.

    Andy

    May 13, 2016 at 8:31 pm #104487
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Andy:

    Like I wrote, if your relationship with your mother is and has been pretty good, if you were able to talk to her in the past and she listened, and you felt good then, talk to her again, about her sickness, about the breakup.

    Members did post photos on the site here, it is still possible unless changes were made recently.

    Will be back at the computer tomorrow. Early bed time (you and I have the same time zone, I live in WA, up the same coast).

    Let yourself be sad, don’t fight it. If you have someone to talk to this evening, please do. Or relax into music and let yourself be.

    anita

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