October 3, 2013 at 9:48 am #43168SassypantsParticipant
I need some advice…
I recently started dating someone for the past month and it’s going great. There is a connection on all levels and it feels good to be in a healthy relationship. It’s nice to be loved and to just laugh and have a good time with him. My feelings are there for him. I don’t want to create a problem, but I have some concerns. He is younger than me, not a big deal, and working towards his career goal. He should have some answers in the next two months on his progress as it’s a selective process for the job he is trying to get. I guess I’m worried about his past preventing him from obtaining his goals. I’m at a point in my life that I don’t want to wait 5 years for someone to be established. I don’t want to walk away as I have feelings for this person, but how long do I give it? He’s everything I want personality wise, but the whole job thing makes me nervous….October 3, 2013 at 2:16 pm #43175JohnParticipant
Follow your heart. If you feel like you’re willing to give him a chance and open to the possibility of him either reaching or not reaching his goals, then give him a chance. If stability and career are an important factor in your search for a partner at this point in your life, then be true to your needs. Nothing is guaranteed. Nothing is forever. Nothing is written in stone.October 6, 2013 at 5:02 pm #43307Bubbles G.Participant
I agree with John – follow your heart! Really ask yourself what you want and what is more important to you. What are you willing to compromise on?
I have friends who tell me that to live the lifestyle I want to live I need to find someone who, like myself, makes “good money”. My response to them is that I can find many people who make “good money”, but I cannot find a lot of people who share the same mind set, goals and desires in life. So what if money is required to meet those goals? I am willing to share it with my partner so we can share experiences that matter to us both. After all, it’s just money.October 6, 2013 at 6:40 pm #43332SassypantsParticipant
I agree it is the journey and I truly believe I met him for a reason. Thanks for the advice John and Bubbles.
I guess it boils down to me exploring my first relationship after having been in a toxic one. I’m realizing my feelings are all over the place. I appear calm cool and collective on the outside, but inside I have different feelings daily. For example, one second I’m giddy with him, the next I want to be alone, then he turns me on, then I second guess myself. Is this normal? Or do I need to check my emotions? I’m just feeling a bit apprehensive and theirs no pressure from him what so ever.October 6, 2013 at 9:16 pm #43342SheilaParticipant
I agree, follow your passion! Life may be easier when its all laid out perfectly, and relationships may seem easier when you are both on the same level of your career tracks…but the best things in life are never easy.
After a certain point in our lives, age becomes, truly, just a number. I have met 40 year old men who seem as immature as highschool students, and 19 year olds who seem wise past their years.
If its truly meant to be, you will rise past your differences. I feel that if we stop trying for the fear of failure, we fail anyways by never trying.
My advice is to take it slow-and dont let where he is in life control how you feel about him.
I like to think that no matter where you are in life today, you dont know where you will be tomorow.
That thought helps me not to judge others for where they are in their journey, and to remember thet they are the same person no matter where in life I found them. 🙂
Hope that helpsOctober 7, 2013 at 3:48 am #43349AlpalParticipant
You are just gonna have to be patient see what happens and what life has to offer for you both , men always need to establish themselves before taking anything else in their lives to the next level. Don’t worry so much about his past and instead try to encourage him and stand by him to keep him going so he can do his best, a little bit of encouragement goes a really long way.