Hi Ed,

When we get upset over things like, say, traffic, it’s either because:

1. We don’t feel like what we’re doing matters, and here we are, stuck in traffic like we’re stuck in life, or

2. We think what we’re doing is VITALLY important, and we should be free from pedestrian concerns.

Traffic and annoying people are things we can’t directly control, either.

Are you afraid that if you loosen up you’ll drop the ball on some level?

Or that by loosening up it’s a sign of “giving up” on life?

It’s Sunday. Today of all days, give yourself permission to Relax. You’ll Conquer the World tomorrow. 😉

Best,

Inky

Hi Ed,
Here is something sort of immediate in nature to try. It’s an offshoot of combat breathing. When things start to get under your skin, slowly take in a long deep breath for four seconds. Then exhale slowly for 4 seconds. All the while paying attention to the temperature of your breath, the air passing by the nasal hair, the expansion of your lungs, etc. You should find by the end of that eight seconds, things will have cooled considerably. Then ask yourself what was so important that your blood pressure had to take a hit to indulge? If you find this works, maybe consider meditation and breathing exercises.

If your a perfectionist, the world is never good enough or you feel that you are never good enough for the world. Thing is, the world is far from perfect. You don’t have to be perfect to fit in. If you try to be perfect folks will think you’re odd. You teach people how to perceive you. If you teach them that you are interested only in perfection, you will be left alone because they know they can’t measure up.

Usually, perfectionism is a compensating factor of “look at me, I’m worth something”. Lead your own parade and don’t worry about others. People of like mind will find you. Real friends can be counted on one hand with fingers left to count. All the others are not worth the frustration of being perfect. Be true to yourself first, treat yourself well, and treat others well. If some folks don’t treat you well, it’s not be worth trying to change yourself to accommodate them. The right people will accept you for you.

Good luck and I hope this helped.

Phil