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Not able to overcome this break up.

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  • January 22, 2018 at 5:33 am #188011
    Gaurav Bisht
    Participant

    Thanks Eliana,

    I have already talked to her and supported her at the time when she was undergoing the process and now that things have settled down I feel like talking still is effecting my mental well being, though I want to talk to her maybe because of the attachment ,whenever i talk to her i feel like whats the point when we are not going to be together. I guess I just need to be strong and stop talking to her and as you said put myself first.

     

    Hi Anita:

    You are right its a combination of both.In the first place I feel like abortion itself is a wrong doing as she had to suffer both physically and mentally and a life was included in this which was aborted.  Also I feel that even after that if we would have been together it wouldn’t have been so bad, but now the thought of being with someone else seems very wrong to me.

    January 22, 2018 at 5:52 am #188017
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Gaurav Bisht:

    You feel guilt for the life that started in her uterus, a life that was put to an end. You also feel guilt for her suffering physically, mentally because of the abortion. And you feel guilty, I understand, for not being able to make her feel better (because you are separated). You feel guilty when thinking about being in a relationship with a different woman, in your future.

    I would like to offer you a bit of a math exercise that I will be doing here, very simple math. Let me know if you agree with it (I may be wrong in my calculations).

    For the fact that you and her had a sexual relationship, your responsibility is 50%, hers is 50%.

    For the fact that she got pregnant, that there was a mistake in protection from it, your responsibility is 50%, hers is 50%.

    For the fact that she attended an abortion, your responsibility is at the most 50%, hers is at least 50%.

    For the fact that your relationship has been terminated, your responsibility is 0%, hers is 100%.

    anita

     

    January 22, 2018 at 7:27 am #188045
    Gaurav Bisht
    Participant

    Thanks Anita, I understand your point. All I need to do is just stop talking to her and get over these feelings, which I’m finding hard to do right now.

    January 22, 2018 at 8:59 am #188085
    Anonymous
    Guest

    You are welcome, Gaurav Bisht. I hope life gets easier and more pleasant for you soon enough.

    anita

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