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Not doing well , Feel low

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Viewing 8 posts - 1 through 8 (of 8 total)
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  • November 21, 2018 at 10:18 am #240059
    akali
    Participant

    Hi everyone , this is my first post here

    Recently I entered my dream art college, first of all i’m so happy and so grateful to be here and already have so many good friends that I can instantly click with which is a suprise to me, I really enjoy their company.Anywho,  I’ve always wanted to study art , but truth to be told my art is not that good yet, only when i come to this college i’ve realized how my art fundamentals truly suck, but that is because im still a beginner so its fine ,but as time goes on my art assignments are not graded well. At this point all i want to is to pass, I mean yes I still got credit but im at the risk of repeating and the sem is almost ending. Repeating would means money, and its expensive for me to afford so.So the other day, out of desperation to get a better mark I traced two of my assignments and got caught , well.. yeah dumb me. Its pathetic..i realized i shouldnt have resorted to that… i feel incredibly bad, and giving that impression to the teach… i’ve had this guilt stuck in my head the whole day.Of course I do not plan to do that again, but i’m afraid the teach will call me later and put me in trouble for this eventhough they didnt say anything yet. just a note on my assignment to not do so..

    All in all, i just feel terrible that as time goes by , my art still suck…just feel demotivated,like nothing is good enough, i take hours  and days to draw , sleeping incredibly late … i feel like shit..I hope past to the next sem, I plan to do more practices during the long holiday after first semester ends … i just hope that ill be able to pass so i wont have to repeat….

    from this. I realized that I do not handle stress well, instead i get burn out ,anxiety and self negativity, crying so often…how do i change that?is there a good mantra for me to chant in my head? how do you guys deal when your stuck like this? what kind of attitude is best

    thank you for reading this far.

    November 21, 2018 at 11:01 am #240065
    Lily
    Participant

    Hi akali,

    To me it sounds like you are really hardworking. I’m sure your hard work will pay off at some point. You are still a beginner, nobody makes great art from the start. I’d say just keep working, even if your artwork isn’t good at first. And try to go easy on yourself.

    Have you asked your professors about what they think you could improve? Is it that you still need to improve your craft (proportions etc.) or do you have to think about concepts more? Something else?

    It also sounds like at this point you only focus on your grades and don’t have any fun at making art anymore. But you really wanted to study this! I’d recommend to try to remember why you love drawing so much. Also draw for your own fun, make it more playful. Maybe read books about your favorite artists, go to art galleries, draw the people you see in the street, try out new colours or materials… Something that excites you. You also wrote that you found good friends at your new college, can you talk to them about this or maybe make art together?

    Also, can you sometimes take a break from drawing and working for school? For me it is helpful to go out for a walk or a sportsclass, meet a friend, do something else besides working for school. Then I get to see and experience new things and I get new ideas.

    I still struggle myself with anxiety and dealing with stress. So I don’t know if I’m the best person to give advice to others. I just can say that I try my best to take good care of myself: eat nutritious food, get some fresh air, journal, get enough sleep etc… Maybe it could be helpful for you too?

    November 24, 2018 at 5:16 am #248311
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear akali:

    My suggestion is  that you accept the possibility that maybe you will fail, maybe you will not pass, that your art may be  not good enough to  pass. It is better to come to peace with something we fear, whenever possible.

    Let’s say everyone around  you says to you: your art is great!  Or if you only practiced more, you will be a great artist, or believe in yourself and you will become a valued artist, that is nice  to hear maybe at this or that moment, sometimes, but these encouragements also increase the fear long term. Because these  encouragements don’t silence the self doubt, and when you get a poor grade, those self doubts become so much stronger.

    So better hear a less encouraging  message: maybe your art will become  very good maybe  it will just improve, maybe it will not be good enough, maybe you don’t have  it  in you.

    Maybe you do, but maybe you don’t. Have some  peace about it, relax, draw, focus on your drawing, pay  attention to what you do, the drawing itself, the art itself, removed from your own grading  of your work.

    Do this for a few days, see how it feels and post again with an update, if you would like.

    anita

    November 26, 2018 at 12:34 pm #248655
    akali
    Participant

    Hello Lily,
    First of all , thank you for replying to my post.You’re right,I will keep working. I will try to be easier on myself.  The other day they told me to improve on proportion , so ive been trying really hard to level up my eye observation. and yeah! I really want to study this,giving up would be too scary for me and I wouldnt know where to go since i’ve always wanted to do this.Thank you for your suggestion, I will do so. Well yeah,I have found many good friends but I feel so insecure speaking out about this, I have told them about my feeling on this but not too much because my feelings can get overwhelming sometimes and I dont want to get too emotional.Maybe this attitude of mine is an issue because I dont really go in deep with my feelings with someone else, just externally and thats it 🙁  I cant take a long break from school but Im planning to go to a nice place to chillax on saturday.

    Thank you for your lovely reply.

    • This reply was modified 6 years ago by akali.
    November 26, 2018 at 12:37 pm #248661
    akali
    Participant

    Hi anita,

    Thank you for your reply!

    I have reread your post and thought about it,honestly I find it to hard to let go of that fear. But I do feel from your reply that I should just surrender to the universe and hope for  the best outcome. I agree about your opinion on self doubt, I feel like it is very true.I will try your method and see how it works for me. thank you

    November 27, 2018 at 7:13 am #254297
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear akali:

    You are welcome. I find it  useful when dealing  with fear to stick to reality, to consider real life possibility. Post again anytime, let me know how you feel after you  try and “see how it works for (you)” if you’d like.

    anita

    January 8, 2019 at 11:44 am #273183
    akali
    Participant

    Update :

     

    After I made this post, my drawings were actually improving and I just got my  results for this semester and I successfully passed just smoothly. :’) i feel happy

    January 8, 2019 at 11:56 am #273187
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Congratulations, akali, glad to read the good news! I hope to read from you again.

    anita

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