Not Happy After My Breakup. Will he regret leaving for someone else? Please help

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This topic has 5 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 8 years, 7 months ago by my2cents.

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April 6, 2016 at 5:58 pm #101078

Jen
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My bf of 5 & 1/2 yrs broke up with me 3 days after getting back from our cruise we went on. I cried and cried for weeks, then kinda felt better. Then it hurt yet again after applying the no contact rule for not 30, but almost 60 days. He messaged me on xmas before I contacted him for the first time a few wks later. After that, I only txted him once a wk. He would always respond to my messages right away, which told me he missed me. Then, it all hurt again for a second time when he said “we could be friends if u really want, but im in a relationship with someone.” I couldn’t stop crying again for a few wks, but reminded myself it’s just a rebound. THEN, it hurt for a third time because I just found out a wk ago that he LEFT me for someone else. He started dating her literally the DAY AFTER he ended things with me. It hurts SO bad and Idk what to do. I’m not trying to get him back, but I still love and miss him and it hurts. I have many questions if any of you can answer who might’ve gone through this. Does he think about me still? Does he regret what he did? Will his new relationship and does leaving someone for somebody else really last? Is it a rebound or not really if he left for someone else? I know these questions can’t be answered with a guarantee, but I want some insight on this situation, please. I’m going to put more info in the comment section. Btw, he does smoke weed (the highest potency/hash oil) almost every day. On the cruise he did it every single day, sometimes two or three times a day

April 6, 2016 at 6:05 pm #101080
Jen
Participant
I also want to add that he smokes weed and gets drunk almost every week with his friends. Its their weekly thing. Also, he’s lost a lot of weight recently (looks way too thin/this happened a bit before our breakup), has a lot of facial hair that looks almost out of control, and “off” appearance about him (not against facial hair, it just looks outta control kinda). And, he made his profile pic of him and his new gf. She’s hanging on him and he’s just standing there smiling. He’s not the type of person who likes changing his profile pic to one of him and his partner (i know becuz I asked him to do that once for us when we were together and he liked the pic he already had), so maybe he’s “pushing” this relationship and trying to appear happy? Also, he thinks he only needs an associate degree in business to do anything to make him a lot of money in life and he’s had three different jobs in the past few yrs or so (not against ppl who don’t do school or change jobs). Is he just an unhappy person? Is it me? He told me when I got upset about him leaving me for someone else that it was all my fault, that I only had myself to blame for being hurt, that I treated him terribly, and that he doesn’t have a weed problem. But i fell like he does. I know he’s no catch and I deserve better, but I’m blinded by love. Please help. Answer as kindly as you can please and thank you. I appreciate any insight.
- This reply was modified 8 years, 7 months ago by Jen.
- This reply was modified 8 years, 7 months ago by Jen.
- This reply was modified 8 years, 7 months ago by Jen.
April 6, 2016 at 7:09 pm #101107

anonymous
Participant

Looks like he is not a happy person to me it might not be relationship but something else that must be bothering him deeply which he doesn’t want to share.
See if u can be frns with him if u really like him, if he is happy with other girl I t hink fir his happiness u should let him go no matter what , that’s life and by doing that u will be a bigger n better person. I know being let down hurts but it’s just that it’s for your good. Learn from ur mistakes n continue to be positive u will end up in something that will last for lifetime all the best and cheers 🙂

April 6, 2016 at 7:10 pm #101109

anonymous
Participant

Be happy

April 6, 2016 at 7:46 pm #101125

Anonymous
Guest

Dear jcat:

Your question: will he regret leaving you for someone else-

He is likely to regret leaving you if in the five and a half years you spent with him he often enough expressed to you regret for choices he made. If he regretted a lot while with you, then he is likely to regret leaving you. If he regretted very little or nothing at all, then he is not likely to regret leaving you.

I sure hope your pain lessens and that you will move on to a better relationship. I hope you have a better idea about who you would want to be involved with in the future, once you are ready….

Take care:

anita

April 8, 2016 at 4:58 pm #101325

my2cents
Participant

Dear jcat,

Please please please BLOCK ALL his texts and phone calls. It’s best you extend that NO CONTACT RULE FOREVER and also STOP LOOKING AT HIS SOCIAL MEDIA. It clearly hurts you whenever you have any type of contact with him (includes looking at his social media) so why do it? In time, the pain will be nothing and you will see that he wasn’t right for you.

You say he smokes weed and gets drunk almost every week with his friends…looks way too thin…looks almost out of control, and “off” appearance about him…broke up with you 3 days after getting back from cruise trip together after being together for over 5 years…he said you two could be friends but he’s dating someone else…he was high on weed daily during your cruise…changed his profile pic after he said he wouldn’t change it when he was with you, etc. This is the person that you miss and love. Consider yourself lucky to be rid of him.

As for all your questions, WHO THE HELL CARES if he still thinks of you or if he regrets what he did or if his new romance will last or if it’s only a rebound thing. You will only drive yourself insane trying to answer all these questions. Also, in a lot of cases, a person usually “checks out” of the relationship way before the relationship ends so he may have checked out way before your cruise but didn’t have the courage to say something until after the cruise.

Take control and shift the focus onto yourself. You deserve to be happy. Granted you two have been together for over 5 years so you can’t just forget everything. Just remember you can’t make someone love you, like you or want to be with you.

Picture this…imagine you’re on a small island and he’s standing in front of you. Tell him how much he’s hurt you. You can yell, cry and shout but don’t assault him. Then say goodbye. Thank him for the time you two shared and wish him the best. You can say it however you want. Then get into your canoe and row safely back to land.

Take good care of yourself and love yourself. Many blessings to you!
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