Alexandria,

I see this is all part of the process of getting to know each other.  There is a saying, “We judge ourselves by our intentions and others by their behavior.”

He may or may not about your wounds or hot buttons, or may not be aware enough that he is pushing on them, or may not be mindful enough on how it affects you for he is talking from his own experience.  We tend to be self centered like that and that is very human.

I see if I have a self aware, kind partner then we each will have the love and grace to allow the other to both be themselves and to give them the opportunity to “make mistakes.”

Does that make sense?

Check out the Non-Violent Communication process for it is based in compassion.  Plus it also is based on the premise that we each are responsible for our own feelings.  We are responsible in communicating what we want based on our unmet needs.  I believe for me to be compassionate is first to understand the other’s needs and feelings as well as knowing my own.  Then we each have a basis for clear understanding and communication.

Mark