Greetings Faber,
I’ve dealt with anger and sadness quite a bit in my life and both foster strong emotional charges. First off, I would say to allow yourself to feel whatever your body is feeling without fighting it. Allow everything to take its course without identifying with it or feeding it. That will really help. Just observe the feelings as opposed to fighting them. Welcome them..maybe even say to yourself, “ok anger and sadness, if you want to hang out here for a while I’m not going to rush you out, do what you need to do” You’ll be surprised how empowering that is. It’s almost like you’re watching those emotions as opposed to getting involved in them..much like how you would watch guests engage with each other at your house without getting involved in every conversation.

That being said, you also need to understand that we as human beings all have sub-personalities. These are basically the voices inside of us that can play the victim, the critic, the worrier and the perfectionist. We’re all guilty of allowing these sub-personalities persuade us at times but the truth of it is that they’re not who we are. Sometimes we dwell on sadness or anger because, believe it or not, it’s satisfying to us. That may sound outlandish but really think about it. Sometimes we enjoy being said or angry as a means to validate that someone did something wrong to us or against us. We all do it so don’t feel bad, more importantly, let it go. Yes, this person hurt you but you didn’t do anything wrong…don’t be sad about that, rejoice over it. Be happy that you have the compassion and character to understand that what he did was wrong and that you wouldn’t do that to someone else. You’re also listening to the critic inside of yourself by wishing you had what your friend had (a handsome boyfriend and seemingly good relationship). Never compare yourself to anyone else. People only allow you to see what they want exposed. You don’t know the inner workings of that relationship and, honestly, even if it’s as great as it appears, there’s no sense in wishing you had it. Cherish this time that you have alone. Once you find “the one”, which you will, you won’t have this time ever again. Embrace it. Embrace being alone. The world is your oyster! You are your own pilot to navigate through this time and experience anything you wish. Why waste time wishing you had what someone else has…you have what YOU have and that’s amazing.

Don’t get involved with the negativity that your mind wants to shower on you, that’s not you. You’re not your thoughts. Allow the thoughts to do their thing and just don’t get involved. You’ll be fine. Everyone goes through what you’re going through on a similar level. These are the things that build character and perspective. Take care.

-G