You are very welcome and thank you for your offer. Here is my comment regarding a sentence you wrote in your post before last: “It happens when I feel happy and care free- I start to worry and think that I don’t deserve to be happy because of what I did”.
What happens is that you have a belief, a core belief, one formed early in your life, that you are a bad person, and so, you don’t deserve to be happy. There is much distress in this core belief.
This core belief and the distress involved in it was formed before the incident, the “what I did”. Your logical brain is stuck in that incident as the proof or the evidence that you are a bad person.
Healing will need to include you exploring this core belief in the circumstances it was formed- who made you falsely believe that you are a bad person, basically. If you would like to explore it here some, please do. Anytime.
I’m not sure if being a bad person is my core belief because I only usually feel this way when I went through OCD with intrusive thoughts and with the situation I mentioned on this forum. I think the reason why I felt like I didn’t deserve to be happy when I remember this memory is because it goes against my morals and I started questioning myself. I also don’t recall anyone from my childhood who falsely made me believe that I was a bad person, but then again maybe I just didn’t remember.
I do know that essentially my problem is that I worry and over think a lot – to the point where I forget and neglect my priorities. I worry what other people think (I feel this stems from my family and the need to please others), I worry that I might be failing (When compared to my friends and people my age, I feel that I’m so much less successful), and sometimes I feel unloved (from my parents divorce and them not being present during my childhood). Is it possible to have more than one core belief?
Yes, it is possible to have more than one core beliefs. I don’t think anyone has just one. These core beliefs are beliefs that formed in our brain at an early age, before we were capable of evaluating them. These are things we were told about ourselves, about other people, about life, mostly by our parents/ caretakers. We did not stop to think, as young children, if what they taught us was correct, nor were we capable of doing so. We just believed what they said to be true.
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