This website is very gentle with supportive participitants, thank you for beeing .I am sure the possibility to express oneself here is of great, and perhaps even paramount value for many.Interesting is it so clear, honest and well-worded postings are.Living in Scandinavia my english is not perfect,but should be understandable.

I work as a professional with pasttimes geology and medieval history (have aurthored a book in the field) and believe I have been through the unberable pain, anger and restlessness expressed with such beauty in many entrances in this forum more than once – in high school, in my mid-twenties, early thirties, early forties and now early sixties.

Of course they are all love stories, with my high school affair beeing the most dangerous as I tried commiting suicide.My father had served the army and there was a gun in our home. I found the gun and the rounds, but a vital part was hidden elswhere.Instead I swallowed what was of tablets in the medical chest and slept for two days without my parents observing something very unsual, I guess believing I was recovering after a drunk night out.

My second love affair was the hardest.With reasonable progress in studies but smoking quite some joints I fell in love with the most adoring young woman.Seen in hindsight she was a unsecure person, and without knowing for sure I believe I was talked down by her sister and would not be accepted by her highly positioned parents.After 20 months and loosing 15kg in weight I became psychotic, standing outside a a shop coincidentally named after her common firstname, waiting for her to arrive in one of these odd new cars now on the streets (in fact just the new models of the year).To make distance I left the country and settled another place.

My exterior was working and after a year i returned and finished my degree.When troubles were worst I felt of course alone except when on a single occasion I was understood by one of our lecturers who at the right time said “you are ok”.Thank you Fritz.

In my early thirties I was very fond of a girl who was a believer, where I (now a scientist) in the end not could accept the healing of AIDS through prayer, and to bend knees for the leader of the community (great guy btw).To make distance i again resorted to another country.

In my early forties I met the mother of my son (now a budding psychologist saying everything is down to neurotransmittors).After a fine and mutual love affair she became pregnant, and within two months she decided to be a single mother and asked me to return to my home country and said if not I should not expect any communication forwards.There has not been any, but I did not leave, paid what I should in alimony and have fine contact with my son who in fact a few days ago unexpected popped in on leave from university.

And now I am on the rollercoaster again.Writing all this stuff almost make me laugh through the pain.This time my lost love is the utmost sweet, tender and loving person on earth.We split and for some time had no contact.The other day she called as she had a few minor practical problems.We made an appointment to meet in a cafe, as four eyes perhaps could see more than two.When I called her the following day to ask what time I should pick her up all suddenly had become a mistake as a headache had made her call me – probably it is the truth 🙂 🙂

Think twice and do not rush when texting back and forth.Hand written letters had their advantages.

If later in life meeting troubled minds, make them understand you understand. It really can make a difference.