Hi Yana

That is a really complicated question. 😂

I think it is a matter of perspective, purpose and circumstance. Everyone interprets things differently.

It’s funny that you wrote a message because I was about to write to you here. 😊

Recently, I’ve been working on understanding how other people interpret me. Trying to understand my flaws and weaknesses regarding communication, verbal and non-verbal.

I guess, exploring something similar to what Roberta mentioned with Right Speech. Knowing myself is a part of self-compassion for me. Something that I haven’t paid much attention to for a while.

I care about how people feel and I am at a point in life where my communication and social skills I have are simply not enough to achieve my goals.

I feel like by understanding others emotions and perspectives. Their likes and dislikes, I can improve my communication with them.

I want to be able to overcome difficulties and avoid hurting people whenever possible.

If there is a different way to do things, that might be more appropriate. I am willing to try it.

I’m blunt, literal and straightforward. Sarcastic and teasing – because I enjoy humour. This is great with friends but not so good during conflict.

I have learned to be confrontational when things are difficult, because my instinct is to avoid it like the plague. In conflict, I have a tendency to criticise and blame. I also have a tendency to emotionally dissociate during conflict which people can misinterpret as me not caring. I often turn away and have difficulty looking at people during conflict. I also have no control over my tone. I don’t have the ability to edit my thoughts before I speak. When I am upset that is how the words come out. I have a hard time telling where the stopping point is when people talk and I have memory problems, so I have a tendency to interrupt people.

For me, it is really important to manage my stress and stay calm so I can communicate in a more positive way.

I get overwhelmed when I experience multiple emotions at the same time. I noticed that I have a habit of suppressing anger which is often associated with my communication difficulties.

I never really understood how to process anger in a healthy way. I wasn’t raised like that. How could I?

I often try to ignore my own feelings and needs to try and help others. Then it backfires when I’m stressed out from suppressing my own needs.

When I’m upset, I tend to communicate negative emotions which can be stressful for people. Taking the emotion out of the situation and focusing on the goal can be less stressful.

I’m doing my best to manage these traits. I have found that it has been helpful.

Hi Yana

Of course!

Yes, me too. It is good to hear that you’re feeling more open and receptive.

No, that makes sense!

Yes, I do see how freeing unfettered communication can be. Unconditional love comes to mind. Allowing someone to be and accepting them no matter what. Mistakes and all.

I’m happy for you that you made such an important discovery.

I’m just sharing my own experience, what I’m going through right now. ❤️