Online dating gone wrong

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This topic has 18 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 3 months, 3 weeks ago by Krish.

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June 20, 2024 at 8:41 am #434059

Helcat
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Closure of this issue can be found by focusing on their pain, not your own. That is why you have received this feedback. It is not an attempt to attack you. It is an attempt to help you find the closure you seek. Once you have done that, you have learned the lesson and it is easy to let go of.

Anita was kind to you and didn’t try to attack you. I’m sorry that you don’t see it that way and you find your own pain too difficult to look through. Even though you can’t say the words. Perhaps in this pain you experience you can feel it?

June 20, 2024 at 10:03 am #434061

anita
Participant

Abde/ Anonymous:

“Anita – Nice attempt to draw out an attack against me, let me tell you. you were not successful… This was a sure attempt to attack me personally… Thank you for this perspective“- interesting that you thank me for this perspective that you perceive to be a personal attack on you.

“I am here to seek closure and thanks for all your feedback, really appreciate. The online messages will not portray the pain that I have gone through, at least doesn’t seem like you acknowledge“- interesting that you really appreciate feedback that you perceive to be unempathetic to your pain.

And right after the above messages of gratitude and real appreciation, you deleted your account.

From your original post: “I texted her to say sorry and asker her forgiveness… saying that she had every right to be upset and at the end wrote: ‘Enjoy your day’ She got upset and thought this was very insensitive from my side. And then this statement broke my heart (I don’t know if she was nicely insulting me: ‘Stay happy with your Corporate IQ – that’s all I can say’“- you apologized to Muns for lying to her- for approx.., 1.5 months- about being separated from your wife, and ended your apology with “enjoy your day”, because saying “enjoy your day” is something you habitually say to people on a call as an IT professional, even or particularly in calls that include conflict or disagreements, it’s a way to end a call pleasantly and facilitate/ encourage future calls.

So, you apologized to Mun and ended your apology the way you’d end a IT call, pleasantly but incongruently with the apology, because Muns was very hurt by your lie, and wishing her, in the same apology-message, to .. jump from deep hurt to joy is invalidating to her hurt.

I think I understand her comment now, about your Corporate IQ.

anita

June 20, 2024 at 8:34 pm #434093

Tommy
Participant

It is not good to have blinders on. Cause it limits the scope of what you see. Helcat and Anita are a couple of very nicest people you will ever meet. They see what I saw in your posts. You may have not wanted to present it that way but the truth came out. Still, even if a driver cuts one off, we do not go after them. And if they are found in a ditch or rolled over, we do not abandon them without first trying to help. That is the humanity inside of us. Some people lose contact with that part of themselves. I hope you can reflect and learn to be a better man. Have a nice life. Good luck in your future.

July 26, 2024 at 8:17 am #435407

Krish
Participant

Hi

After reading your post I feel

Please work on your divorce and dont get in to another relationship until you get a divorce finalised as it might be a rebound relationship and sometimes you will have a different opinion after your divorce

Consult a suitable psychologist to help cope with your divorce and don’t do dating to seek support from women there. They are not trained psychologists.

If you go for a divorce, finalise your divorce, heal from the divorce, self reflect about your past relationship failure, work on yourself and go for dating.

Please let her go and the element of trust is broken here with the person you met

This is a forum for support and we intend good outcomes for you

All the best
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