I have experienced this myself. As an introvert as well as having general anxiety disorder I often find myself not really adding anything non-superficial or emotional about myself to others that I am not close friends with and even then I am very protective of what I put out there. In true friendships and relationships it is supposed to be a two way street of communications and connection. For me it typically ends up being a one way street with people that are more looking for someone that they can use to let it all out to. Complainers and pessimistic people normally aren’t given a listening ear by people looking for true relationships, these people bring every one down and are the people that never let anyone else get a word in, but in conversation a person who is introverted or reserved may not know how to handle such people and even though they don’t like all that negativity they think oh well its at least a friend. But is it? Now where you are in your life I think these are the people you have encountered so much that they have burnt you out on even trying. For me I practice patience and understanding, but I try to be what some buddhist monks describe as a trash can, I listen and may reply but I do not hold on to it I let it go so that it doesn’t affect me. I still feel used after dealing with these people since once they are done talking about themselves they typically are done altogether and send me on my way. Or when they do ask some type deeper question it is to assure their own ego or to learn some gossip.

When talking to a genuine person, my anxiety causes me to cease when it comes to me diverging anything about my own feelings on something so conversation from my end typically stays above the surface. I have also noticed while talking to genuine people a discomfort arises that causes me to be short with them. Genuine people might take offence to this, I am sure they do and have been told that it does. They don’t want to be the only ones talking, nor do they only want to talk about themselves.

I think superficial conversation is a part of life, people just partake in it to be friendly and that conversation is “worthless” it like when people say, “”how are you doing?” they don’t really want to know and will look at you like you are crazy if you tell them. To truly have good conversation takes work in not only being a good conversationalist but in also finding and talking with a good conversationalist and when that happens you will find that hours go by and you thought that it was only minutes and it is worth being able to have a friendship like this.

• This reply was modified 10 years, 5 months ago by Mike.