fbpx
Menu

Opinions Please.

HomeForumsRelationshipsOpinions Please.

New Reply
  • This topic has 3 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 7 years ago by Erin.
Viewing 4 posts - 1 through 4 (of 4 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #142291
    Kait
    Participant

    I met my Mr just over year and half ago.  We’ve had our ups and downs, and a short break up that lasted 3 Elliott’s.  Anyways,  he had been using facebook as a sort of tool against me with his ex.  He was also talking privately with some other women. (Leaving the door open, posing as single). He also watched porn,  I didn’t have a problem with that,  I myself watch it on occasion.  What I didn’t realize was that he was watching it daily,  numerous videos.  It was beyond excessive,  I couldn’t believe it.  Anyways,  we’ve talked about it and I told him how I felt (that the whole facebook game sh*t has got to stop, and that I felt insulted by the amount of porn he was actually watching). I have a fb and I don’t care if he does,  (rarely have I  met anyone that doesn’t) and like I said, I watch porn but expressed my concerns as there were some differences in our sexual relation that I’d begin to notice.

    So here’s the question,  I don’t know how to handle this.  He basically threatened deleting fb and never watching porn again,  and I told him that is not what I’m asking him to do but if he chooses to,  that’s his decision.  After numerous arguments about some of his indiscretions he finally deactivated fb and says he doesn’t watch porn anymore (for me)! I told him I think that’s a bad idea… and sure enough! We had gotten into a discussion and it got heated up,  he then says sarcastically “it’s not like I’m watching porn,  and I don’t even get it at home anymore (we have pretty awesome sex almost daily,if not multiple times). He has also been making insinuating comments about his fb. This all seems to be manipulative behaviour on his part to try and use when things don’t work in his favor.  What should I do?

    Thanks in advance,

    Kait

    #142361
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Kait:

    I didn’t understand the part of him making “insinuating comments” about his fb; what comments? And what are his manipulative behaviors you mentioned in the last few lines of your post?

    What I do understand is that what bothers you (understandably)  is that he flirted with other women on fb, presenting himself as single while in relationship with you and he watched too much porn on his computer. The two of you argued about it and he suggested deleting his fb account and no longer watching any porn. You don’t like this solution because you are okay with him keeping his fb, only not flirting, and you are okay with him watching porn, only not so much of it. Am I correct?

    Waiting for your reply so I can have information needed to form an opinion (which is what you are asking for).

    anita

    #142633
    Michelle
    Participant

    Hello Kait:

    It certainly is a manipulative behaviour. No matter how fabulous sex you have with him, that is not the most important thing in your relationship. He is obviously deleting his facebook account because of you and not because he realized he has a problem with managing his accounts. As long as he do not get concerned about himself, he will not be able to make you feel secure. Because this is not an inner decision for himself. It seems to me that he is telling you that just to stop you from bothering himself. He is not trully concerned about the communication or you inner peace, because if he was, he would be talking a deep conversation with you and also checking how his behavior does him wrong.

    Do not stay in a toxic relationship and do not let anyone manipulate you. You deserve better. Be a strong woman.

     

    xxxx

    Michelle

    #142647
    Erin
    Participant

    I totally agree with you that it’s HIS choice whether he deletes his facebook and stop watching porn.  He decided that was the best course of action, and it is not very nice or mature of him to try to make you feel guilty because of it!

    Perhaps he felt your comments were threatening somehow?  Maybe he thought you’d judge him, hurt his feelings, so fought back by being mean about it?

    Anyway – you deserve a grown-up version of him, who makes an effort to listen and doesn’t try to make you feel guilty.  If he won’t do that then you deserve someone else.

     

Viewing 4 posts - 1 through 4 (of 4 total)

You must be logged in to reply to this topic. Please log in OR register.