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Over-thinking and over-analyzing something that happened

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  • October 8, 2016 at 8:36 am #117546
    Mary
    Participant

    Hi. I asked a ‘stupid’ question “yesterday”, and I’m still thinking about it today. I knew immediately after saying it, that it was dumb. I’ve thought over and over and over about WHY on earth I even asked that when I knew the answer. I can’t keep thinking about what the other person (a co-worker) thought of me, and how she’s probably told so many people. I just can’t get past this. I have replayed the scenario so many times. I can’t concentrate on anything. I know this is sooooooooo ridiculous, but I cannot help it. I’ve always been a worry-wart. I think my biggest worry is when I think I look stupid to someone, or I’ve felt embarrassed about something. I will dwell about it and constantly think about it for the longest time. How can I quit thinking about this!?

    October 8, 2016 at 8:51 am #117547
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear mary65:

    How to quit thinking about this…? Did you try to accept the worst scenario: that your co worker thinks you said something dumb and told what you said plus that it was dumb to many people? If that happened, can you live with it? If it happened, how different would your life be from what it has been so far?

    anita

    October 8, 2016 at 5:08 pm #117568
    Mary
    Participant

    Hi Anita,

    I like what you said. Basically, if something was said, so be it. That’s helped to just think about it like that. I do keep thinking to myself “how stupid” I was and why on earth didn’t I just keep quiet. However, I do know it’s a done deal, and I’ve made up many, many scenarios that may not happen. And………like you said, if that did happen, can I live with it? It just all goes back to me worrying over what people think of me. That’s always been my biggest problem. Thanks for responding!! 🙂

    October 8, 2016 at 7:27 pm #117579
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear mary65:

    You are welcome. I read someone say: “What people think of me is none of my business.” and I thought: wow! Is that possible, not to care what someone thinks of me? Never has been for me. I care. I want to be thought well of and I want to be liked and respected.

    I realized over time that what most people think of me is not a matter of much consequence. If someone is not paying my bills, and therefore the consequence is not loss of income, then what is the consequence?

    Yes, I would like people to think well of me but if they don’t, makes no practical difference to me.

    anita

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