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Overwhelmed by anxiety and worry

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  • February 9, 2014 at 1:21 pm #50590
    Matt
    Participant

    Hi there –

    I am a relatively new meditator, and I am currently experiencing overwhelming, yet IRRATIONAL bouts of worry and anxiety related to my job.
    I was reprimanded recently for being under-prepared, and of course in my head that means I’ll be fired!
    Totally irrational.
    Most likely, nothing will happen, yet I am currently spiraling emotionally, and irrationally.

    So I am wondering how to use meditation and relaxation techniques to combat this irrational anxiety and worry.

    Thanks.

    February 9, 2014 at 3:29 pm #50591
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Hello, Matt,

    Yes, criticism can be challenging to accept, especially if it’s not constructive or kindly-intended. Do you feel the reprimand was warranted? Was it given and/or documented appropriately? The intention with the reprimand makes a difference, openly bringing something to your attention, an employment duty or performance expectation. In short, are you in agreement with the reprimand? If so, communicate your plans for improvement and ask for/accept suggestions. If not, say so, kindly and respectfully. Support your words with evidence.

    Seeing what really is, and then moving on and using the feedback to improve your work can help you to learn, to develop more efficient and effective preparation skills, which will naturally lead to better work performance.

    Quieting the mind certainly helps, but so too can healthy distraction until you’re calm enough to face what is and not whatever your worried mind wildly imagines. Whenever I’m criticized, I try to see the criticism as what it really is, professional, etc., but not personal.

    To let go at times like this, I do things I enjoy doing to relax and ease my mind (writing, nature walks, dancing, writing, etc.). Then, when I’m ready, I read articles, watch/listen to talks, etc. There are TEDTalks and Greater Good (UC Berkeley) also has good topics.

    Please post updates if you are inspired to write more about your situation.You’ve started an important discussion here, one with which we all grapple from time to time. We all learn from our shared, similar journeys.

    Smiles!

    February 9, 2014 at 4:06 pm #50594
    Matt
    Participant

    Matt,

    I’m sorry for your suffering, and can understand why fears are difficult to settle. Sometimes when we “have a lot on our mind”, we can become disoriented, with peace difficult to find. I’m glad you’re exploring meditation, consider a local sangha if interested in joining a community or taking some classes. They are usually low cost or free, and can help.

    In the meantime, consider some metta meditation. Metta is the feeling of warm friendship in the chest, and is something we can grow intentionally. Buddha taught that it helps the mind become smooth and rested, greatly reducing agitation, and increasing concentration. As we spend time wanting ourselves and others to be happy, the mind naturally lets go, becomes spacious.

    It also helps to become a little more self nurturing. Often we feel anxious because we haven’t taken the time to relax, and instead skip from distraction to distraction. Slow down, take a bath, listen to soft music, walk in nature. Surround yourself in some space, and try to open up, let go, unwind.

    Finally, perhaps stop criticizing your anxiety. You say it is “irrational”, perhaps because you’re noticing that the worry doesn’t fit, doesn’t match the experience. Said differently, you can see you’re more fearful than necessary for the stuff at work, and that’s a good start. When you call it “irrational”, however, you imply that it is causeless, as though it just doesn’t belong. It has a cause, dear brother, something is bringing it up. Perhaps a critical parent, or a feeling of isolation (moving a lot, social outcast etc), or any number of things. It gets all swarbled up in our energy and takes time and care to heal and let go. So, we don’t beat ourselves up for having them, and we do our best. And we especially don’t accept its spontaneous, random, or forced. There’s a cause. That’s actually a great thing, because it means its able to settle… we uproot the cause, heal the wound, and it goes. 🙂 Consider trying “Sharon Salzburg guided metta meditation” on YouTube if interested. Even a few meditations should provide much needed relief, but try to be patient… it takes some time to grow.

    Namaste, dear friend, may your steps be joyous.

    With warmth,
    Matt

    February 9, 2014 at 4:07 pm #50595
    Matt
    Participant

    Thanks so much for these beautiful replies. 🙂

    February 9, 2014 at 5:41 pm #50603
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    May peace of mind and heart be yours.

    February 10, 2014 at 3:15 am #50643
    Penocea
    Participant

    Hello,

    I understand how you are feeling and I am sending you loving thoughts. I am going through the current experience myself. That monkey mind that will not shut itself off from the worry and anxiety of what might happen, what I could have done differently. Knowing that replaying the images in m head & beating myself up will not help the matter, but it is hard to stop a moving train once it has gained momentum. I tend to think the worst case scenerio so I can prepare myself. This, of course, is not optimal in living a happy, healthy, peaceful life.

    The matter is still not resolved, but I do have a very supportive husband who is there with a hug and that helps tremendously. I would suggest find a good hugger. I think a lot of my tormoil comes from FEAR – fear of the unknown, fear of not being in control, fear of criticism, fear of what others will think. But, God is in everything and everywhere so last night while watching the Sochi Olympics there was this young figure skater who said, “Our coach is making us read Phil Jackson’s book (not sure which one) about letting go of fear so you can have passion and enjoy what you do.” What is it you are afraid of and then let it go. Easier said than done, but I think it is a good start and one I am going to pursue. Oh, and I keep reminding myself, just because I had a very bad day at work and the worst case scenerio would be I get fired, it does not mean I have a bad life – so whatever happens, I can handle it.

    I hope this helps – face your fears and know whatever happens – you can handle it.

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