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Panicking about checking emails/mails … please help!

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  • #62881
    Blue 2014
    Participant

    Hi everyone,
    Does anyone struggle with checking emails / mails etc ? It started out as minor anxieties in various, relatively minor aspects of life which then turned into this irrational behaviour that is now giving me panick attacks because I know I am missing important emails/mails by not checking my mailbox but at the same time, I think by not checking them I dont have to deal with what is in them.
    It is like trying to put off a problem that I will have to eventually deal with anyways but my head would rather not deal with it right now but putting it off is making me more and more anxious and I know what to do about it but I just can’t get myself to do it. I take a walk, I treat myself to a nice meal – literally bribe myself to do it but I cannot! I am such a coward!
    At some point, as I have done in the past, I would bite the bullet, just check it and deal with what is in store but this is just getting more and more disruptive to my life. I keep repeating this self-destructive cycle every so often. I know I need to let go and just deal with the things that need to be done and move on but I just dont have the courage. Any ideas on how to overcome intense fear and self-destructive cycle would be much appreciated. Thank you so much in advance.

    #62899
    Rachel
    Participant

    Hello,

    I was once the same way with my mobile phone. Constantly checking even though the bloody thing would notify me when I have a message. It became an addiction. I didn’t care about everything else, I just had to do it. What I did was I reminded myself of the time when e-mail and text messages didn’t exist and the internet wasn’t as accessible. I don’t know how old you are but WE WERE OKAY WITHOUT IT. Did I really want to be “controlled” by a piece of electronic gadget? Try to be mindful of what you’re doing. It’s not easy but it can be done. You have to believe in yourself that you can do it.

    I can also suggest putting yourself on a schedule. You will only check emails twice a day, until it becomes once a day. Start taking note of how many times you check your email in a day. When you see the numbers, you might realize how ridiculous it is. You can start reducing it from there.

    The answer is within yourself. Good luck.. It won’t be easy but IT CAN BE DONE.

    #62919
    The Ruminant
    Participant

    Rachel, I think the problem in this case was the complete opposite 🙂 Good advice, nevertheless!

    Blue, I have indeed been through such a thing, and I still notice myself occasionally getting nervous about checking e-mails. In my case, it was partly due to getting one too many stressful and angry e-mails that caused me to start to feel overwhelmed and panicky. That said, there were a lot of underlying issues that I had to solve. Perhaps this anxiety is just a symptom of something bigger, feeling overwhelmed about managing life in general? When things are in balance and you don’t have too many worries in your mind, you’ll have more strength to deal with the smaller issues. But if you allow things to pile up, it becomes harder and harder to manage everything, as you know.

    If this e-mail thing is bothering you so much, then why not try to solve something else first? Have you tried any meditative practices that would allow you to purge the worries that keep piling up in your mind? When there’s too much stuff there, everything becomes too hard to manage. It’s like having a really cluttered space, where dealing with one thing means dealing with a dozen more just to get to the one that you need to deal with. The more you can purge the clutter, the easier it gets to manage things that are thrown at you.

    Then when you are ready, perhaps some kind of e-mail checking schedule would be in order. Once or twice per day, every day, when you bite the bullet. First relax by breathing deeply for a few times (4-5) and then check the e-mails. Make a mental note of the relief that you feel afterwards and associate it with the accomplishment.

    Those are just some thoughts that came to mind. I understand that running away from issues is so very tempting, but also I don’t think that the solution to that is to go full speed to the opposite direction and forcefully deal with something that is causing anxiety. Baby steps to better balance! 🙂

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