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Perfectionism

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  • This topic has 1 reply, 2 voices, and was last updated 1 week ago by anita.
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  • #372552
    Erica
    Participant

    Hi all,

    This is my first post. For some reason, whenever I Google what I’m feeling (usually anxiety) just to see if others feel the same way, I am always pulled in by a Tiny Buddha post. Always. So, I joined.

    Today, Google led me here again, this time for perfectionism and anxiety. I read a great post, but I’m also looking for more tips on how to quiet these loud doubts in my head. For example, I avoid opening mail because I’m afraid of what will be inside- a bill (sometimes for something I forgot I signed up for), or school loan information, DMV info, etc. I’m afraid of what’s inside because I feel like it will make me realize I’ve done something wrong, or forgotten something again. It makes me feel like a bad adult.

    Another example: I put off doing my schoolwork until the last day because the more time I have to work on it, the more problems I find that I “need” to fix. I also hate replying to discussion posts, I guess for fear that they’ll all be much better than mine. (It’ll be tough for me to check any replies to this post as well). I guess I fear that I’ll look stupid because the answer is so obvious, or people will judge me through the internet.

    I also have a big issue with social anxiety (if you couldn’t tell). I have been managing it with medication and therapy, which is helping a lot. But I still care far too much what others may be thinking about me when they look at me.

    Any thoughts, tips, advice, etc?

    I feel like my life is on hold lately, and I’m too afraid to face its daily tasks.

    Thx, E

    #372627
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Erica:

    Welcome to the forums. You shared that your self doubts are loud, that you avoid opening your mail because you are afraid to find out that you’ve “done something wrong, or forgotten something again”, you are afraid that spending more time doing school work, will lead to you finding “more problem” that need to be fixed, so you postpone the work to the last day, and you shared that it will be tough for you to check replies to this thread, because you are afraid to “look stupid”, to be judged by people reading your original post.

    “I still care far too much what others may be thinking about me when they look at me. Any thoughts, tips, advice, etc.?”-

    – there is the usual advice regarding how to lessen anxiety, such as daily aerobic exercise, healthful nutrition, adequate sleep, listening to calming guided meditations, doing Mindfulness exercises (focusing on the here-and-now), etc.- you are probably familiar with those. But as far as giving you advice specific to you, it will take for me to get to know you better. I imagine that would be a scary idea for you, that the more you type into your post/s- the more material to be (mis)used by members to to judge you. Is my understanding correct?

    anita

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