…

Dear adyonfire4:

I am trying to understand how you think, what you think- that will give me an understanding of why you feel the way you do, what motivates you. If I understand these things then maybe I can help you. I want to help you because you asked for help. This is my motivation: to help you, and this is why I am asking you questions. It is up to you to answer them, or not.

So here is my question, relating to what you wrote in your latest post: if god is responsible for the situation you are in now, the situation that brings you such misery, does that mean that god wants you miserable?

And if god is responsible for your present misery, because he doesn’t approve of you/ doesn’t like you, how can you make god like you?

anita

Dear adyonfire4:

I am so sorry you are miserable and lonely, feeling low self worth and wondering why this has happened to you although you describe yourself as extremely good looking, hard working man with a sharp mind.

I highly recommend you attend psychotherapy with a competent, caring and hard working therapist. You deserve the peace of mind you desire and in therapy this can be achieved. In good therapy you can get the insight you need to understand what and why and how you can make your life better.

Your life can get better, professionally and socially.

Best wishes to you:

anita

And i think you will, over time dont we all start moving on and making peace with whatever has happened? Of course it cant be deleted, there is no delete button for the shit that happens in people’s lives. It does sound though that you have done what you could and have learned important lessons for life. In long-term perspective, you will make it a point to focus on friendships, to not repeat the same scenario again and will emerge stronger from this rough patch. This too shall pass. You’re a smart, good-looking and ambitious guy. Surely you will make it and fight this through.

I am also glad you have that perspective as well on life. One thing that has given me a lot of strength over the years, especially in the middle of depression is the idea that “this too shall pass” – meaning i wouldn’t forget the pain, simply learn how to bear it. I found healing through lot of spiritual reading (all kinds really), more involvement in social work and regular exercise. Keeping my mind busy was one thing that helped me from totally breaking, wondering about the infinite possibilities that could go even worse…I dont know about your friend’s husband but i do believe that your friend doesnt think you are a bad person. Nah, it has more to do with her honoring her husband’s wishes.

Eventually i hope you will find a way to make peace with whatever that has happened and get back to your peak performance.

All the best to you. May the force be with you.