Dear Anna:

Then let’s continue to communicate over days and weeks, however long it takes, so to understand better and process some emotions, express them and release them, so that they are less intense and don’t take over your mind. We will be talking about your childhood, your relationship with this guy, and your life otherwise.

“I think I will never find someone to love me and take care of me like he did”-

– how did he love you, how did he take care of  you???

anita

Dear Anna:

(I was away from the computer for a while, as I am from time to time).

What you wrote reads lovely, but for me to know more, I need to ask you to elaborate as follows regarding #3-8. Please take your time answering. Remember, our communication, to be helpful to you, will take a long time. Rushing will be counter-productive. So please take your time and answer thoroughly.

He loved you/took care of you in the following ways:

1. He surprised you with little things that you liked.

2. He covered you with a blanket throughout the night when you spent the night together.

3.  He listened to you (“always listening to me”). Always or often, or sometimes? Can you describe a bit, what it means that he listened to you; did you talk to him a lot and he just sat there quietly listening, did he say something back?

4. “He was with me through med studies”- can you describe what you mean, what did he actually do (or not do)?

5. “He went through my mom’s cancer period with me”- again, what does this mean, what did he do?

6. “He always supported me in front of his parents and friends”- what kind of support did you need in front of his parents and friends, and what did he actually say and do that was supportive of you?

7. “He was always helping even without being asked to”- what kinds of help did you ask from him, what kinds of help did he give you that you  didn’t ask for?

8. “he was my biggest support and fan”- how was he your biggest support and fan other than what you already stated (1-7)?

anita