Thank you in advance for reading this post.
I’ll try to keep it short.

So…September 2014 I met an amazing guy who would later become my boyfriend. We had an amazing relationship. Full of love and kindness. I felt like I was the luckiest girl on earth and we were really in love, I’ve never felt like this in my life (I’m 26).
We went on trips together, we shared amazing moments and he asked me to join him on a trip to meet part of his family on December 2015.
The trip went out great and when we came back home he stayed at my place for about a month.
On that month I started to feel like I wasn’t happy with my life (my job, feeling tired because of having a lot of extra activities, waking up really early to work-out, etc.) and I started to share those feelings with him. I always assured him this was not about him at all, but other parts of my life. Then I started to feel insecurity towards him too (I wasn’t feeling really supported by him) and I asked him out of nowhere to erase his ex-girlfriend from Facebook. He was hurt by this but eventually agreed to erase her. I felt bad about asking him to do that and took him to dinner and told him that my behavior hasn’t been great, that I trusted him and that I was really sorry about what happened. He told me it was OK and we were back to our loving relationship.

Then after that month he got a new apartement, moved away from my place and everything seemed fine. He gave me the keys to his new appartment, he made space for me to take clothes and my things over there, he made dinner for my parents at his new apartment and everything seemed normal to me.
We had a plan to go away for a weekend but I started to feel sick and told him I wasn’t sure I could make that trip. He told me that maybe then he could go with his friends and I said: “I’m feeling a little hurt that you don’t want to see me now that I’m sick, I still don’t know if I can make that trip but I’ll go to the doctor and tell you afterwards”. I went to the doctor and he told me it was fine to go so I called him and out of the blue he told me he had cancelled the trip. I got upset and told him that was not what I said. We started arguing about that and he told me he needed the weekend to think things through. I told him that I thought that it was best if we met to talk about that and he didn’t want to but I convinced him. We always were able to talk things calmly and I thought we could work that stupid argument out but no.

When he arrived he told me he wanted out. I was in shock, I didn’t even cry because just the weekend before we were talking about going on a trip next year and how much we loved each other. I told him if he was sure about that decision and he told me he was. That he was tired of my attitude and my doubts, that he was a happy person and I was not.
I was destroyed, heartbroken but I gave him some days and I called him to ask him if we could meet. He said we could meet the next day and I agreed but that same day he canceled and told me it was best to see each other in a couple of days.
I waited for 5 days, he agreed to meet me and I told him I was sorry and that I didn’t know he felt that way. That all my doubts about my life had nothing to do with him, that I was really happy with him and that I wanted to try again, that he dind’t need to answer that same day, that I could give him time to think it through and I gave him a letter with 50 times he made me feel great and pictures of us.
He said that he was going to think about the possibility to get back together but that he couldn’t be with a person that wasn’t happy with herself. That it was too much and he missed being single. I told him I’ve missed him and he told me I could contact him anytime I wanted but that maybe he wasn’t going to answer me. He also told me that maybe breaking up with me might have come as a shock but that he is like that. Then he told me he was meeting one of his buddies to work-out and left.
He was cold and distant and I have a horrible feeling that I don’t know him anymore. He’s never acted like that. I haven’t contacted him since and will not contact him again because I also have to put myself first even though I love him but him acting like that makes me feel really really hurt. I thought he was the one, I feel he is the love of my life but I don’t know if I deserve this, I don’t think so.
Relationships are not always perfect, ours was great and at the first “rough” moment he throws the towel like that, without trying his best, without talking to me first. I’m hurting so bad 🙁 I’m unable to sleep well at night and I miss him like crazy.

What do you think? Was I really that bad? Is it normal to pull away like that? Telling someone you love them a day before breaking up? Will he come back?

Thank you.