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  • September 25, 2017 at 7:23 am #170079
    soafaloaf
    Participant

    Hello, I am writing this post hoping to reach out to others who have been in my situation, and really just to share my feelings. I had an abortion a couple of months ago and am feeling intense regret and sadness. I feel like I made the wrong decision and am now battling with behaviour patterns that are self – destructive. I love my partner so much but lately I have been taking out all my anger and frustration on him, and often I feel like I just want to run away from the situation and leave him but I know deep down that this would hurt him, and I don’t want to hurt him. This is also the first relationship I have had that feels wonderful and he means so much to me, my regret is making me yearn to be pregnant again but I know that this probably wouldn’t heal anything. I know that there is nothing I can do, the decision has been made and I need to let go now, I suppose I just don’t know how. My feelings are so intense and they feel out of my control. I know I need to take control because I don’t want my partner to suffer any more,  he needs me and I need him, but when I feel like this I just seem to push him away and get completely sucked into my feelings. Maybe it will just take time. I am just reaching out because I feel the worst I have ever felt.

    September 25, 2017 at 9:19 am #170177
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear soafaloaf:

    You are feeling “intense regret and sadness”. You yearn for another pregnancy.  You want to let go of the decision that was already made, to abort but you are stuck, I suppose.

    You wrote: “I don’t want my partner to suffer any more”.

    My input: abortion, lots of people feel so intensely about it. I didn’t experience all the feelings about it that others experience but I did experience suffering and witnessed lots of in others who often pass it on.

    I believe suffering should be minimized, and so, I hope you minimize your own and your partner’s suffering, no longer engaging in “behaviour patterns that are self – destructive” and no longer “taking out all (your) anger and frustration on him”

    anita

     

    September 25, 2017 at 1:49 pm #170247
    Ravenhaired
    Participant

    Dear Soafaloaf,

     

    You are not alone. I had an abortion about 20 years ago. I was plagued with feelings of regret and sadness for many years. I, too thought about getting pregnant again but I knew that another child would never replace my first pregnancy. I decided to seek counseling about 5 years after my decision.

    Over time and with help, I forgave myself. I realized that at the time, I thought I was making the right decision at the time.  I hope you find what you need to feel at peace and whole. Sending you love and light,

    Raven Haired

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