See that is the thing. From the outside in your friend may look like she leads the perfect life, there may be certain areas in her life that are in fact great but all of us in this world are NOT perfect. Nor will we ever be. We need to accept that everybody has their personal imperfections and that’s fine, it’s normal. Otherwise we would all be perfect and then in fact be living in a perfect world.

The best advice I can give you, is to just be loving towards your friend and understand that she struggles in area’s in life that you may not struggle in and that you are having a little difficulty understanding that. There has to be an equal balance to any relationship, whether it’s romantic or a friendship. You should feel flattered that your friend looks up to you, she obviously see’s strength in you and intelligence in you to be able to feel comfortable in trusting you for advice. I’ve had some friends that would seek me for advice all the time and I didn’t mind helping them for a few years plus but then as time went on, we were both growing apart and I just was emotionally tired of constantly giving the same advice.

From a personal perspective I love a woman who is battling something very personal and after talking to a couple of my lesbian friends, they told me to not be upset with the woman I still love because coming out of the closet isn’t easy and that either I could still love her, be friends with her and support her on this journey of helping her to be okay with her sexuality or I can just leave her be and let her walk alone during her personal journey.

The most important thing that they told me is that I need to forgive her and not be upset with her because one my friends that was giving me her advice said, she was 37 years old when she came out of the closet. She said she was terrified at first but she did it and she said that her family told her that they always knew that she was a lesbian but didn’t want to confront her about it. My friend said she was angry that her family knew the entire time and didn’t try to help her come out and her family’s response as “We just didn’t have the tools and we are sorry.” See! That struck a cord right there because my friend is now 54 and is a tennis instructor in Maui at the four seasons and her family loves her and supports her. Obviously there is a little more in detail to her story but the point I’m trying to make is that, everybody is struggling with something in there life. Just because people may have a good job, family and friends, doesn’t tell you the entire story of that person.

To know someone truly, is to spend a lot of time with that person talking to them.

Me personally, I cannot be perfect. I try but I (excuse my french) fuck up at times on making hard decisions. I’ve gotten judged so hard by the love of life for not being perfect and making all the wrong decisions in her eyes (when it comes to having contact with her family) and my response to her is this – “All you had to do was communicate with me a little more efficiently and I would have asked you how to make these decisions together.” I am human too and I try to be the perfect woman for the love of my life but I at times need her help too and advice bc I have been left in the dark to make these decisions on my own. All I’ve ever wanted from her is for her to love me and accept me for who I am and all my imperfections too because I sure do love my girlfriend and all her imperfections. I always forgive her knowing that she cannot be perfect either and that we both can do this together if we just stop getting so upset with each other and just love one another in the end and understand our flaws. The 1 thing I really admire about myself is that I have always been faithful to my love.

I will close by saying, the best way to live life is just to make your friends, family or partner better by forgiving and understanding that we all cannot be perfectionists at everything (it’s just not possible), communicating by talking it out together and just being LOVING towards one another every single day of our lives about our feelings is the correct way to having a healthy relationship. The #1 most powerful thing in this world is LOVE, that is what keeps us going in this life. Be LOVE and you’ll see your entire life change for the better. The next time you need to act out on something or respond to someone and or make an important decision, act out of love and not fear. Love wasn’t meant to be complicated but to only be understood as the healthy way of life. <3 I hope I have opened up your eyes a little to look at life from another persons perspective. I wish you nothing but the best.