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Questioning myself…

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This topic contains 49 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  anita 5 days, 23 hours ago.

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  • #302263

    anita
    Participant

    Dear Sofioula:

    I will read and reply to your recent post when I am back to the computer in a few hours, or tomorrow morning, in about 19 hours from now.

    anita

    #302273

    Sofioula
    Participant

    Dear Anita,

    Yes of course! No need to worry. Have a great day ahead 😀

    #302365

    anita
    Participant

    Dear Sofioula:

    What a fascinating post, perfectly stated: “The mind-swift is like the breath you never knew could feel so amazing… I accepted myself and my human conditions and limitations, positively and negatively, black and white and all the colors… I don’t discriminate against my emotions any more… Experience everything.. that curve might get you to all different angles, ups and downs”-

    – next down, reread your recent post, that which I quoted, and let me know how that feels, will you?

    anita

    #302679

    Sofioula
    Participant

    Dear Anita,

    I did, I read it, I read all my posts actually… I feel nothing. I feel sympathy for the person writing it, like I would for a sweet, sad teenage girl that is in love with a classmate who doesn’t love or respect her. And then I feel like punching that idiot classmate in the stomach (not literally of course). In the beginning it felt like 2 different Sofioulas, but now, it feels like a completely different entity wrote those posts and not me.

    I’ve been “sober” from my ex consistently now, to the point where I don’t give a single crap about his existence. Sober from all my self judgment, sober from oppressing my feelings, sober from perfectionism. I truly say to you, I feel I was born recently. It literally feels I’m alive, that I just landed on this place and body. Now I realize how truly detached I was from my being.

    Anita, I can’t even begin to describe it. It’s not limbo, it’s not rainbows, sunshine and sparkle. It’s plain reality and it feels so damn good!!! Even the everyday struggles, boredom, confrontation, yes even tears. I accept all that. I accept, I stopped loathing in regrets and self criticism, in self victimization. Deep relief that’s unshakable because I know, negative emotions don’t shake you, rather they are shaping you and it’s a crucial part of our existence.

    My motto would be “decriminalize emotions”. Especially so called unwanted ones. Living in utopia is more self restrictive than reality. You always compete with perfection and you lose touch with your identity.

    I’m a Christian Orthodox and deeply believe in Jesus. But I learn about Buddhism and Buddha, have so much respect and it influences my life in a meaningful way. I used to think that Buddha wanted elimination of suffering and critiquing it. But to my understanding now is that he talked of pointless, self inflicted suffering. What is your opinion on this?

     

    #302733

    anita
    Participant

    Dear Sofioula:

    to “decriminalize emotions” reads excellent to me, what an excellent term. What you described in your recent post is wonderful, a here-and-now living, engaged in reality as is, “Sober from all my self judgment, sober from oppressing my feelings, sober from perfectionism”- … perfectly stated.

    Regarding suffering, personally, I am for elimination of all suffering, whether it is inflicted by self or by others or by nature (ex., tornado).

    anita

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