Reality or Expectations Too High

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This topic has 23 replies, 7 voices, and was last updated 6 years ago by Kevin.

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March 28, 2018 at 7:49 am #199769

Kevin
Participant

Hi Everyone, I am new here and found some of these threads very interesting. So I’ thought I’d add a story of my own. I had a very sad & lonely childhood with no encouragement from those around me. Adding to this, I was extremely shy and ultra sensitive (still am). So I grew up without direction, left school at 16 and straight into the workplace, going from one minimum wage job to another.
Went through lots of therapy, got married and about 8 years ago I became excited about the idea of making money online.
Recently I took voluntary redundancy, I was still hopeful of making it online and decided that I didn’t want to be a “minimum wage” worker anymore.
Now at 52, the realization has kick in, I’ve got to go back to working for the minimum wage again, still with a feeling of having no purpose in life after so much soul searching.
Did I set my expectations too high? Is this where I should be in life? Why do I see the “bad” people creating good lives for themselves? I have never smoked, never drunk alcohol, never taken drugs, never been in trouble with the police, never cheated on women, I don’t swear, I treat everyone with respect, I’m not aggressive, etc, etc.
Do these aspects count in life?
Why do I feel like I’ve never fitted in with society?
Is this just reality?

March 28, 2018 at 8:12 am #199807

Anonymous
Guest

Dear Kevin:

You wrote: “I have never smoked, never drunk alcohol, never taken drugs, never been in trouble with the police, never cheated on women, I don’t swear, I treat everyone with respect, I’m not aggressive”-

Having worked minimum wage and feeling that you have to go back to working minimum wage is a separate issue from the above:

The consequence of not smoking is that you increased your chances of being physically healthy, decreasing your chances of ill health and early death.

The consequence of not drinking alcohol is that you have no chance of over drinking it, driving while under the influence, and so you increase your chances of health and safety, as well as others’ safety, on the road.

Never having been in trouble with the police- that decreases your chances of being incarcerated, paying fines and experiencing great distress involved in legal litigations.

And so on. None of these carries the consequence of making more money as there is no entity watching, taking notes and figuring something like: this man has been good, therefore I will reward him with more money.

I hope to read more from you.

anita

March 28, 2018 at 9:54 am #199823

Kevin
Participant

Thanks for your reply Anita. I didn’t mean it to read like that, I had to try and keep my post to a minimum.

What I was trying to put across is that, you could be a really bad person (in my eyes), but if you have found your purpose/niche in life, then you would be getting more out of life than I am, purely because I have not found my true calling and instead have been going round and round in circles.

Whereas, years ago, I used to think that if you lived a “wholesome” life so to speak, it would stand you in good stead, but nowadays, the only thing that seems to matter is how content you are in life and not the way you live it.

I described my way of living as a whole, not individually. They weren’t meant to be explored individually.

But I do believe in Karma, so that makes me happy with living my lifestyle the way I do, especially how many people turn to drink and drugs to deal with their problems.

Yes, I know it is down to me to find contentment in my life, I’ll keep on searching.

Hope you understand my point.

March 28, 2018 at 10:06 am #199827

Anonymous
Guest

Dear Kevin:

I didn’t understand: “I described my way of living as a whole, not individually”- as a whole, meaning..?

anita

March 28, 2018 at 10:14 am #199829

Kevin
Participant

I was just trying to find a word to describe my way of life.

March 28, 2018 at 10:32 am #199839

Anonymous
Guest

Dear Kevin:

What I did understand from your previous post is that you believe in Karma, that is, in past and future lives, and as I understand it, if you live a good life this time around (which you are, not smoking, drinking, not being aggressive and so on), then you will be free from the burden of being born again. If I understand correctly, then there is an entity of some kind, an energy or the like, who is taking notes of your behavior, according to what you believe.

As far as whether bad people are feeling content in life, I don’t know. I don’t think that there are too many people in the world who feel content in life on an ongoing basis. Lots of people suffer from guilt whether it is justified or not. And then, there is the fear of death, that the richest person in the world cannot escape.

I hope other members answer your thread next.

anita

March 29, 2018 at 12:27 am #199875
Kevin
Participant
Hi Anita,

I’m not sure that I’ve worked through enough karma to avoid another incarnation, but there’s always hope. I just like to think that in this life, I haven’t occurred any more unnecessary karma.

I don’t believe there is an “entity’ taking notes of our behaviour, I follow the theory that when we pass over we have a life review where we automatically feel any pain we’ve caused others, but there’s no judgement.

It would be nice to think that if you live a live free from those aspects I mentioned, then there may be a positive outcome as a result.
- This reply was modified 6 years, 1 month ago by Kevin.
March 29, 2018 at 2:36 am #199883
Rainbow
Participant
Hi Kevin,

Congratulations to you for all the hard work you did, despite the tough childhood. Going to therapy for several years is not easy. I am glad that you are doing well. You fail to notice that though you had several challenges, you went to therapy instaed of seeking drugs, alcohol and prolonging your suffering. Taking a wise decision when feeling vulnerable, lost, shy and hurt is not an easy thing to do.

You come across to me a wise, strong, resilient,patient and a loving person. Thank you for writing this post. You really inspired me. I hope you don’t get dejected with your career goals. Sending love and prayers to you. I hope you find answers to your career goals. Wishing you well 🙂 take care
- This reply was modified 6 years, 1 month ago by Rainbow.
March 29, 2018 at 3:05 am #199893

Anonymous
Guest

Dear Kevin:

You wrote: “when we pass over we have a life review where we automatically feel any pain we’ve caused others, but there’s no judgment”- no heaven and hell judgment, you mean?

Your goal though is to be free of being born again into yet another life, and another, and be freed from this human trap, correct?

I would like to be free too, free of discomfort, free of pain, physical, emotional pain. Free of people’s judgments, criticism, aggression.

anita

March 29, 2018 at 3:28 am #199899
Kevin
Participant
Anita, it is only what I believe, we all have our own beliefs.

But in answer to your question, I don’t believe there is a “hell”. For me it is a man made word only.
I believe that there is a spirit world which consists of many levels and every soul (good or bad) eventually progress there.

This is going in a different direction, but some people will tell you that people who commit suicide are punished.

As I am a victim of suicide, I find this statement very damaging and I have had proof that this just isn’t the case.
- This reply was modified 6 years, 1 month ago by Kevin.
March 29, 2018 at 4:15 am #199905

Anonymous
Guest

Dear Kevin:

To be clear: I don’t believe in Karma, reincarnation, heaven or hell, or in a god or gods or souls. I wrote to you earlier that I hope other members will respond because I was hoping members who do believe in karma as you do, will respond to you.

My purpose in communicating with you so far is to understand you better. The more I understand other people, the more I understand myself. Because we people have so much in common.

As I learn from you, I hope to encourage your learning as well, and so I hope for Win-Win communication.

To understand better I ask about your last sentence, having been a victim of suicide, what you mean by it. Answer if you would like, if you feel comfortable answering, and not- if you don’t. I am curious about this topic because if some experience I had on the matter, which I will share with you, if it is relevant to your experience.

anita

March 29, 2018 at 4:26 am #199907

Kevin
Participant

Hi Anita,

That’s fine, everyone has their own interpretations of life and beyond.

I’m a victim of suicide – meaning that I was affected by a suicide in my close family.

March 29, 2018 at 4:49 am #199913

Anonymous
Guest

Dear Kevin:

My mother threatened to commit suicide early in my life and for many years, again and again. It affected me greatly. She didn’t commit suicide but at times I wished she would because not knowing when she will, if she will, waiting in fear, was … very difficult for me.

If you would like to share your story on the matter, please do. Only if you would like to. I am okay if you share and I am okay with you if you don’t share. It is okay either way.

anita

March 29, 2018 at 5:49 am #199917

Kevin
Participant

So sorry to hear about your mother’s troubles. Please do not wish her dead.

It was in fact, my dear mother that committed suicide when I was a baby.

I know what it’s like to grow up without a mother’s love.

Kevin

March 29, 2018 at 6:01 am #199919

Kevin
Participant

Hi Rainbow, thank you for your kind words.

That really means a lot to me.

I have always known from deep within that drugs & alcohol are not the way. But I can only speak for myself on these matters though.

I still have issues with self-hatred that are proving very difficult to conquer, but as they say – it’s a marathon and not a sprint.

I am now seeking guidance from an Intuitive Life Coach and she knows there are mental blocks which are stopping me from moving forward to where I need to be.

Thanks again for your kind words, I really appreciate them.

Kevin
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