Realization I have taken my friends for granted

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    I am not proud to admit that I have taken some of my friends for granted. It is something that really hasn’t come to my attention until now, while our lives have all been altered due to coronavirus. I have been really lucky to always have friends around me and to not struggle in making new ones. The thing is I ended up taking my old friends for granted because of this. Whenever I moved to a new place, I would not be good at keeping in touch with my friends who were living in other areas and would spend all my time focusing on my friends who lived in my city or making new ones. Now that I am finally graduated from college and been in a position where I have to slow down (I was always hyper involved while in school), I’ve begun thinking about all of these good people I have let go in my life. I began to forget their birthdays or stopped responding to their messages because I had so much else happening in life and was tying to manage the relationships I had right in front of me. Now I realize that I have been a really horrible friend and had forgotten what friendship really meant and why it is important.

    I would love to make up with some of these friends in my past; I think some of my past relationships are salvageable but I worry that they will not have interest in becoming close again or how I can even begin to talk to them again. If you have any words of wisdom or advice, I would love to hear it and learn how to right my wrongs.

    Thank you for your time!


    Dear Katie:

    In your previous thread, less than a month ago,  you wrote: “I have always had depression but it was something that I could manage and often hide below the surface. Last year I moved abroad.. found myself in the deepest depression.. isolated myself from all my friends and stopped responding to their text messages”-

    Yesterday you wrote that you want to salvage some of those friendship, but you “worry that they will not have interest in becoming close again”- I suggest that you contact one of the friends you neglected and tell that person that you regret neglecting the friendship. If and as communication continues, don’t hide your depression anymore from a (good) friend. Share with your friend in moderation, reveal, and that may lead to “becoming close” more than before!



    I feel this way too. I’ve always been cold because I’ve been hurt in the past and I cannot seem to find a way to relate better with people now. I have a hard time keeping in touch. During the isolation, I’ve felt bad because no one reached out to me.

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