April 18, 2017 at 7:07 am #145641
I’m stuck amid my life and relationships. Need your valuable suggestion.
I’m a married girl aged 27 years. It was a forceful marriage due to my father’s sudden demise. I wasn’t happy with this relationship and tried to convince my family not to proceed with further. But, everybody had their own reasons from my mother to sister, grandparents and uncle to let it happen. Finally i had to give up and got married in a hope that things would turn right after sometime. Although somewhere I had a fear in my mind what if it doesn’t. We were incompatible and still i feel the same. I tried a lot to feel happy in this marriage but neiher I could felt the happiness nor I felt anything for him. It’s been 5 years we have no kind of association – physically, mentally, emotionally and financially. He says he loves me but i never felt it. Finally I left him and came back to my parents. Im living at my mom’s place since a year. I told them I want divorce but both the families don’t this. Coming from a middle class Indian family, divorce is a taboo here. I feel helpless now. I don’t want to gilo back as I can’t stay anymore in a relationship where I don’t feel myself. This relationship has killed me from inside, I’ve lost my iner self..it’s been 4 months I couldn’t sleep in peace. i cry and cry. I want to become an editor. I want to go away from here tonstart a new life. I feel I’m not doing anything wrong as it’s better to end a forced relationship than to keep dragging and crying for the rest of your life. It is good for both of us ultimately. But nobody understands. I don’t feel like loving sometimes. I don’t have any purpose to live. It’s just that dream of becoming a writer that is still keeping me alive. Please help me what should I do?April 18, 2017 at 9:51 am #145681
Dear Mini Ahuja:
Like you wrote: “it’s better to end a forced relationship than to keep dragging and crying for the rest of your life.”- I agree.
What to do? I agree with your answer: “go away from here to start a new life”
Reality is “everybody had their own reasons from my mother to sister, grandparents and uncle to let it happen”- and none of their reasons was your well being.
Who is interested in your well being over social conventions and taboos? I hope you are. Your dream of becoming a writer: start writing about your life: “From Forced Marriage to Freedom” is a possible title of a novel. Of course, you will choose your own title.
anitaApril 19, 2017 at 12:34 am #145785
Thank you Anita for your advice. You gave me a direction! Thnx 🙂April 19, 2017 at 9:00 am #145825
You are welcome, Mini Ahuja. Post again anytime.