Dear Jen:

Some things that people do cannot be undone. In 2016, you grew very attached to this man, emotionally, had trust in him to continue to love you. And then he broke up with you, choosing to be close with an ex girlfriend. That hurt a whole lot. When you got back with him, that hurt was not gone.

When we are hurt, often we get angry, because we don’t want to get hurt yet again. So we fight the danger we perceive, the danger we fear, that is, being broken up with again, in your case.

He broke up with you in 2016, and that cannot be undone. It would have take much more communication before getting back together so that maybe the hurt and anger could be processed, reduced and a loving relationship made possible.

I think it is a good thing that this man is in your past. What do you think?

anita

Dear Jen:

The advantage that a future relationship will have for you is that the man in that future relationship will not be one who has already broken up with you. Get to know the next man in your life over time before you get physically intimate, so that you don’t form a very strong emotional attachment to him before you get to know him. It is wise to be cautious this way.

When you figure you made a good choice in a man, that he is trustworthy, then deal with possible anxiety on your part in the context of the relationship.

anita

Dear Jen:

You are welcome. Yes, do evaluate best you can any advice you get, here and from friends, evaluate anything you read before accepting it as the truth. Take advice and put it to a test, experiment with it, see if it works for you in your life situations.

Post again anytime you would like.

anita