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Relationship anxiety

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  • #386609
    Lin
    Participant

    My boyfriend and I are together for 5 months, When he met me I was the bubbly, confident, independent and social Lin. I am now riddled with insecurity and worry a lot over our relationship. I am constantly worrying that he is going to leave me or that he fed up of me. I  feel that his recent lack of affection is making me question whether he really loves me even though he does tells me. The other day while I was at work, he was in my house, when I got home he had got groceries, made dinner, done my laundry and made the bed. He was not affectionate with me at all however and this something we always are when we are lying on the couch. He used to tell me all the time that he loves me and now it is only once or twice. He suffers from depression but I don’t know if this might be the reason  why he is being so distant. I also told him recently that I was insecure about the size of my breast and I feel he doesn’t like that I don’t feel sexy with them. He also looks alot at other women and this exacerbates my insecurities. HELP

    #386633
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Lin:

    I hope that your anxiety lessens and that you will soon be closer to the “bubbly, confident, independent and social Lin” than to the anxious Lin.

    You mentioned “his recent lack of affection” and his depression (“He suffers from depression”): depressed people, when feeling depressed, are not affectionate. So yes, it may be the reason why he is less affectionate with you.

    Also, your anxious behavior affects him, making him feel more anxious himself, and the result: he feels less affection. (Can you feel very anxious and affectionate at the same time?)

    It was very nice of him.. a loving act, to have made dinner for you, the laundry and all that when you were at work, wasn’t it?

    anita

    #386705
    TeaK
    Participant

    Dear Lin,

    He suffers from depression but I don’t know if this might be the reason why he is being so distant

    Like anita said, his lack of affection can be caused by his own mental health issues, and might have nothing to do with you.

    When he met me I was the bubbly, confident, independent and social Lin. … I also told him recently that I was insecure about the size of my breast and I feel he doesn’t like that I don’t feel sexy with them.

    How have you felt about the size of your breasts before you met him? Were you confident about it? Do you think you might be seeking his reassurance that your breasts are fine, and when he doesn’t give it to you, you get insecure?

     

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