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Relationship ramblings

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This topic contains 3 replies, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  anita 1 month ago.

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  • #322355

    forestnymph
    Participant

    Recently attended a family member’s wedding. After the wedding reception dinner, I came back to where we were staying and cried. I think that I felt out of place, as I often do with a large group or people. My husband knew I was upset but did not ask me what was wrong. I haven’t cried in awhile. Is that normal in relationships? I have not brought it up to him.

    He has such a strong personality sometimes, that I feel like it over shines mine, especially when it comes to relationships with our nieces. This hasn’t bothered me much until recently. I know that they think of him as the “fun one” and I take this to heart, especially when my niece decides to hug him and not me. I did bring all of that that up to him. His response was “She did hug you.” She did not.

    I also reached out to someone outside of my marriage, whom I believe, has decided to ghost me. I have been ghosted in a serious relationship before, so trying not to obsess (especially since this one is a friendship), but trying to realize it for what it is.

    I am just not feeling like myself lately. Feeling like I need a friend.

    #322361

    anita
    Participant

    Dear forestnymph:

    “I also reached out to someone outside of my marriage”- you mean you reached out to another man, in a way you kept secret from your husband?

    I would like to understand your situation better. If you would like to, will you share more about your marriage: about how long, why did you marry this man, was there something wrong from the beginning or did something happen along the way to bring you to this point of not feeling right?

    (I will be away from the computer for a few hours).

    anita

    #322375

    forestnymph
    Participant

    Hi Anita! Yes. I did tell him that I thought I was having feelings for someone else.

    We have been married for six or seven years, but together about fifteen.

    It has been a physically loveless marriage for sometime. After telling him about my feelings for someone else, there was some intimacy but has been lacking since. I have communicated this lack of intimacy in the past, but things do not change. It all makes me feel a bit lonely or unwanted, but that might just be in my head. I know that he loves me.

    #322387

    anita
    Participant

    Dear forestnymph:

    I have so little information about your relationship with your husband and the information I do have is puzzling: after you told him that you were having feelings for someone else, he increased his intimacy with you (“After telling him.. there was some intimacy”)- meaning he responded not in anger or jealousy,  but in increased intimacy?

    When he say you crying or he saw that you were very upset after the wedding you attended, and yet he didn’t ask you what’s wrong, didn’t try to comfort you.. ?

    – reads like a loveless marriage Can it be, that after 15 years together, there is not much there?

    anita

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