I’ve been with my boyfriend for about a year and a half. In a few weeks we will be moving further away from each other (about 2 hours). It is a distance that is definitely doable but as we are young we’ve talked a lot about not making a huge commitment to one another and just making sure we maintain our friendship.  We’re both on basically the same page for this and while it may be hard at times I think it is a step we are both capable of making. We both value our friendship enough to put jealousy and other emotions below our care for one another. We haven’t decided to break up as soon as we move but just to see how we feel with the eventual understanding that we will no longer be in a monogamous relationship. However, as the time approaches for us to leave and our relationship to begin that transition I’ve found that I’m very unhappy in the current relationship. We live very close to each other and surrounded by mutual friends with plenty of time to see each other. I feel that I am putting in much more effort than he is and that even our time together is not as it used to be. When I mention things like this to him he is not very responsive or says that he feels things have not changed and that he’s still very happy. I am fairly miserable in the relationship but I do not know what to do with those emotions. We’ve never really had a fight and our relationship has been very happy and easy prior to this. I’m not sure how to express to him what I’m feeling and even if what I’m feeling is worth sharing as the relationship is ending soon anyway. I don’t want to ruin the time we have left together or end a very joyful chapter of our lives on a bad note. I’m also not sure how I will fair in the friendship that is to follow, meaning if I am upset in our current relationship do you think that a friendship is a good way to move forward? And also what are some helpful ideas for transitioning such a relationship into a friendship?

I care a lot about him and truly believe that he does also. We seem to differ on how we deal with negative emotions and the amount of attention or time we each need to subdue those negative emotions. I’ve been having a difficult few days attempting to come to terms with the future of our relationship and the current unhappiness I feel. It’s a very new emotion for me and I don’t feel that I’ve been dealing with it in a productive or healthy way for me as an individual or for our relationship.

Thank you 🙂