Relationships are not to complete you but share your completeness

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    Relations are the most important aspects of our existence in this world. Hence we place most of our expectations on them. In fact our whole existence depends on our relation with various aspects of this world. Here, however, I will limit myself to relation between two human beings. To address this common complaint we have to understand why and how relationships come into our life? Only then can we realize where we err in understanding them. Most of us think that relations come into our life to give us pleasure. We are conditioned to think in this manner. In fact we believe that the purpose of existence of this world is to give us pleasure and make us happy. Here lies the moot problem because of which we suffer and complain our entire life. We should know that various people come into our life in the form of relations due to our unfinished karmic cycles. We initiated some karmic transactions with those people in some other lifetime that remained unfinished; hence they have come in this lifetime to finish it. Their purpose of being in our life is not to give us pleasure but to teach us certain lessons which remained unlearned in previous lifetimes. They do it by bringing certain circumstances in our life. They are neither here to give us pleasure nor sorrow. They are just teachers on the path of the journey of our soul. Once we learn our lesson, their purpose of being in our life will be over.

    If we understand this basic truth about relations then we won’t have so many complaints against them and against the individuals involved through them. It is the fundamental belief that relationships exist to only give us happiness that pushes people to only seek his / her own happiness. This is the primary reason why relationships have become a continuous tug of war and survival of the fittest. An honest evaluation of the state of our existing relationships and acceptance of their current state followed by action according to the need of the hour is the only way to derive maximum happiness.


    Well written, Vivek. I do have a question about the way you have described relationships work. I know you mentioned about relationships in general but this is about a husband-wife relationship.

    “They are just teachers on the path of the journey of our soul. Once we learn our lesson, their purpose of being in our life will be over.”

    This will mean once the karmic accounts are settled then either one of the partners will die or there may be a separation/divorce, etc. But if two partners are going fine with each other, will they separate out at an early period of their marriage if we go by the karmic law “their purpose of being in our life will be over“.  Does this mean nobody can live with their spouse for their entire life?

    • This reply was modified 2 years, 10 months ago by VJ.

    Thanks for your appreciation and observation VJ. Usually we learn our lessons from difficult situations, so when lesson is learned then situation will change. In your observation you have described two ways for change in situation. There is third way also, behaviour of two persons can change towards each other and usually this is the objective in relationship. It means dynamics of relationship is changed. your question, however, is specific about good relationship where everything is going fine. In this case the reasons of their coming together need to be understood. one reason is a technical reason related to time as time is also a factor in karmic laws. So they have to spend some more time together. Another reason is their learning related to attachment with good time. In such cases after spending good and sufficient time together some unexpected incident may happen to bring sorrows in their lives.

    Just one more thing to make it clearer. karmic laws are not static but they are dynamic. So everyone will have different reasons for the events of their lives.

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