Home→Forums→Relationships→Relationships – Finding Love
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June 19, 2016 at 6:38 pm #107705NijParticipant
Hello everyone! I just joined the forum and thought could use some advice on something.
I was born with a disability and one of the the things that I have struggled with is finding a long lasting relationship. I used to get desperate but have gotten better as years have gone by. However, I still can’t figure this one out! I could use some advice from fellow members. I look forward to hearing from you all (:
June 19, 2016 at 7:06 pm #107706AnonymousGuestDear nsuri:
Glad you are here, nsuri. For advice, I would need more information: how old are you? Man/ woman? Did you ever have a romantic relationship, short term or long term? And what disability were you born with?
anita
June 19, 2016 at 7:09 pm #107708NijParticipantI’m a 27 year old male. I have never had anything long term. Just short. My disability is mild CP in that a walk with a limp in my right leg. I look forward to hearing from you.
June 19, 2016 at 7:19 pm #107711AnonymousGuestDear nsuri:
Cerebral Palsy, I just read a bit about it in Wikipedia. It is not progressive, I understand and therefore your limp, I am supposing is the only symptom now and expected to be?
Is the limp is significant, immediately noticed by people?
Also, how long did your …longest short term relationship with a woman (?) last? And what was it like for you?
anita
June 19, 2016 at 7:25 pm #107714NijParticipantIt is noticeable and I have accepted that it will be noticed by people. The relationship only lasted a couple months and it was good. I just feel like I always feel like I’m missing something and doing something wrong. That’s why I’m here to get advice on how to tackle this. I look at others and sometimes get jealous wishing it was me. I know I shouldn’t be comparing but it’s just so hard.
June 19, 2016 at 7:41 pm #107718AnonymousGuestDear nsuri:
If you read some of the threads under the category of Relationships, here on tiny Buddha, you’d see that a whole lots of young people (and plenty of older people) struggle with relationships: many want a relationship, not having one and many have relationships where they are unhappy. And that is without a physical disability, a limping in your case.
Regarding the limping: some women will not want to be in a relationship with you because you limp. But then some women will not want to be in a relationship with a lot of men for all kinds of reasons: too short, too tall, too nice, not nice enough, etc… and often, no particular reason.
So, you see, the fact that you limp doesn’t suggest much to me. All you need is one woman who likes you and wants to get to know you better; one woman that you like and want to get to know better.
The question is do you have opportunities to meet women? Are you on an internet dating site? Do you work and are there women in your workplace? Any social activities…?
And that two months relationship you had, why did it end?
anita
June 19, 2016 at 7:50 pm #107723NijParticipantI do meet women everywhere. I am very social and that’s why I can’t seem to figure out why it hasn’t happened for me yet. I am back trying online dating and actually ended up going on a date this past week but we were not a good match. I try to stay positive but then when something doesn’t work I get down. The relationship before ended because we were just not compatible.
June 19, 2016 at 7:55 pm #107725AnonymousGuestDear nsuri:
Can you be more specific about the input or advice you need? Can you describe the main problem you are experiencing in your quest for a love relationship? I don’t have enough information from you still.
anita
June 19, 2016 at 8:02 pm #107729NijParticipantThe main problem I am experiencing is that I am getting more and more frustrated in my search for love. Maybe I am appearing desperate? I think my other problem is comparing myself with others and I am constantly worried about what others think of me. At the end of the day, I would like to have a solid relationship but at the same time don’t want to settle for just anyone. In other words, I don’t want to be in a relationship just to be in one. I want to find someone I am compatible with and I think that’s the trouble I am having. Using this amazing website, what advice could you and others give me to find true love? Is it my attitude possibly?
June 19, 2016 at 8:20 pm #107731AnonymousGuestDear nsuri:
I do hope you get others’ advice. Probably by tomorrow there will be more people answering you.
Let me see what advice I can come up with this evening for a 27 year old man needing love in his life, as we all have that need, you know: to love and be loved in return. What advice can I give you…
Be okay with needing to love and be loved. As long as you are selective about who you get involved with, getting to know her over time before committing yourself, then desperate is okay. We are born desperate for love, did you know? This is why babies are so cute: nature wants them loved. And we don’t grow out of it, wanting to be liked, to be accepted and then to be loved by that special someone.
So dare to be desperate that way- go and search for the woman compatible for you. She is out there desperate for you.
If it is online dating you are doing, put together a truthful, descriptive daring profile where you describe yourself and what would be a compatible woman for you, be as detailed as you can and in so being you focus on the search for a Compatible woman.
anita
June 20, 2016 at 7:13 am #107746NijParticipantThanks so much Anita! I look forward to hearing responses from others as well.
June 20, 2016 at 11:39 am #107770AnonymousGuestDear nsuri:
I am posting so to move your thread up in hopes you get others to reply to you.
anita
June 20, 2016 at 11:42 am #107771Adam PParticipantHey there nsuri,
Frankly I’m having difficulty understanding your situation as well. It looks as if meeting women ( online or in person) is not an issue for you. I will say that after reading your posts, there is something inside of you that is holding you back from developing relationships. Whether it is the frustration or comparing game. While human beings do in fact want love and I understand where Anita is coming from, desperate and love/relationships are not a good mix, not to mention for your mindset. Instead just continue your life lessening the “need” for a relationship and just want it. Make sure if anyone asks about your limp, use humor to your advantage and a great girl will notice this and may want to know you better. Hope that helped and all the best to you.
Thank you and take care.
-85June 20, 2016 at 11:57 am #107772NijParticipantI think it is my mindset. I meet many women but I think there is something holding me back. Maybe it’s the fear of rejection? I’m still trying to figure it out. I also have this mindset of a time stamp for everything. And this is something that needs to stop. I want to meet so and so by this date. I might just have to accept that my journey is going to be different than others and that comparing is not going to get me anywhere.
June 20, 2016 at 1:25 pm #107776Adam PParticipantNo worries. Remember many people including in our age range (mid twenties) are in relationships/marriages due to pressure from families, putting a time limit (OMG I’m almost thirty, I need to get married) or fear of being lonely. Make sure to remove those thoughts from your thinking and put a list of everything you want in a girl and then as Anita mentioned, go out there and “search” for her, but making sure she is not the top priority in your life.
Thank you and take care
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