Hi Vidalevi,

I’m planning to take up a new job in another city and anyways I was looking for a change since long time. This has given me that opportunity. What I would like to know is, whether this is the right way to approach it or should I work on controlling my emotions better ?

You could go up and ask him if he is married or has a partner etc. That way you know deep down whether or not your emotions will be reciprocated. Also your title is somewhat deceiving, you are not running away, nor are you starting again. Your just moving on. Running away implies that your scared, and nothing you have written should make you afraid. You have feelings for someone that might already have a partner. I think everyone has felt that before. I know i have. It’s whether or not that you act of those impulses that can cause you or someone else pain and hardship. I think what may be holding you back from just saying ‘to hell with it, i’m off” is the ‘what if…’ questions. What if he is free? What if he is the one? what if i regret it, what if nothing changes? I think moving on, finding a new location is actually healthy. When i was working my Aunty told me to never hold any one job for more than three years, other wise you won’t grow professionally, and personally we all need change. As humans, we need to keep moving, we always want more. It’s in our nature. So i think looking for new opportunities and challenges is great.

From what you have written you haven’t indicated any emotional stability problems. So i don’t think you need to control your emotions. You have a thing for the “Bruce Wayne’s” of the worlds….i get that, they usually have great cheek bones! 😉 So you have a type, it’s not the end of the world. Although you can’t help who you begin to develop feelings towards, you can certainly control how much exposure you have to such individuals. Changing city, changing atmosphere, changing the scenery are great ways to progress with your life, both professionally and personally. Actually we can develop feelings for anyone, it just has to be within a certain space and time. Feel the feelings that you do, what you should keep in check is that you are not committing yourself to others if the relationship is not a mutual exchange. Before you start anything with anyone just go through a mental checklist of what you want out of the relationship. And re-evaluate as time goes on.

Ultimately, if you are looking for love…well why not try online dating, at least you may have my options, literally at your finger tips! Obviously, love shouldn’t hurt, this is not a 80’s chart topper! If you move to another city, take you time, adjust to your surroundings, enjoy yourself and when the time is ready for you, get back on that horse!

Best of luck,
Matty
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