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Hi there.
Today I broke up with my boyfriend of seven years. I have been with him since I was 15 and he is all I have ever known. During our seven years, we had some great times and then some not so great. At the beginning, we had issues because he cheated, but I forgave him and we moved on the best we could (although there is still a part of me that will never be 100% over it) Since then, he has been wonderful, you might even say the perfect guy. The past 2 years were great, but as soon as I left college, things changed. When I got my first job, I guess I changed and that meant the relationship changed. I became more confident and independent and I began meeting new people. I began to find my relationship boring. Having been with this guy since I was 16, I began to feel like it was all a routine.
I tried to move past it, booked weekends away and fun things to do, but I still felt the same I found myself wondering if I loved him or if I was with him because that’s all I ever knew I began looking at other guys and once, came close to kissing one. I felt the spark had gone in my relationship, which is bound to happen in a long relationsiop I know but I no longer got excited to see him, I just felt bored. I also didn’t want to have sex with him. I just felt the connection was gone.
I feel like I have missed out on things by investing so much into one person at such a young age. In the beginning, I distanced myself from others because I was so infatuated with him and I am still feeling the effects of that today.
I am worried, that in a few moths time I will regret leaving him, just because things got boring. But on the other hand, I am not 100% happy in the relationship and I want more. I just don’t feel the same as I did before and I haven’t for quiet some time. Its crazy because he is a great guy and while I love him, I don’t think I am IN LOVE with him. I told him how I felt and we agreed to take a break twice. Each time, nothing changed permanently so now, after our second break, I have decided it’s best to finish it completely. It’s not fair for me to string him along.
Did I do the right thing? I am afraid I will regret letting go of a good guy.
Hi jo1124,
In my opinion, you could have, should have, would have had TWO relationships (and plenty of living the good life) in that time period, at that stage of your life.
It is good you are letting him go.
Yes, seven years is a long time. Yes, the relationship has gone stale.
But you will only regret it when you feel lonely or nostalgic.
Perhaps revisit him after a long absence. That would be the only way to reignite the spark, methinks.
Blessings,
Inky
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