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Scared to make a change

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  • #72563
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    My family whom I am VERY close with, moved out of state a few months ago. At the same exact time they moved, I met someone and fell in love. When things were good with him, they were great but when they were bad, it was miserable. I tried to make it work and I feel like I lost myself – apologizing for things I didn’t do, etc just to smooth things over. Now that we are no longer together, I am really missing my family. I feel very lonely, alone and lost. I want to move and be with them (and for other reasons too) but I am so scared! I have a great job here and some really good friends, but its not enough. Job and friends are the only things keeping me here. I want to make the move, but I am terrified of having regrets.

    #72576
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Dear 12butterflies,

    I am sorry to hear that its been difficult lately – going through a break up is bad enough and having your family move away must make it harder. I miss my family too and i have been living away from them for many years now. When i reached a low in my life, somehow friends didnt really do the trick – sure a few were kind enough to be there and listen but there is a different kind of warmth and love with family. Its as inexplicable as understanding the intensity of a relationship vs close friendships. There is a place family and love have that friends cant seem to take. I kinda get it. Just sitting next to my dad watching the news is oddly comforting – his very presence made me feel comforted.

    I think you really need to go over for a while to seem them, call them more often – i used to call them really less when i began feeling bad and pretending nothing was wrong. I was scared of worrying them with my problems but here’s the thing – i worried them more by not calling. In a way, as we get older, our parents need us so bad too. So in case you arent communicating much with them, please do so – skype with them more often, call them and if they arent the talkative kind, atleast check on them regularly.

    Consider this from a larger perspective as well – life goes on, right? You’re still going despite how you feel and you can no matter what happens. If you really really need to move, then do it. Your good friends will be there in your life despite the move but you will have to look for a new job. Change is inevitable in life. Everyone keeps moving to different cities in this age but isnt being healthy (mentally and physically) important too?

    Hope you find strength to do what you feel is best for you.

    Sending you hugs,
    Moon

    #72600
    isabella
    Participant

    The choice is yours weather you choose to stay where you are at or to move back with your family is your choice. Think about the pros and cons of your next choice…and whatever you do next be positive and courageous.Just remember you can make the best out of anything, Sending you my luck and energy .
    -isabella

    #72781
    Ashley
    Participant

    I agree with Isabella and Moongal about making the decision. It’s up too you, but you can have fun with it! Talk with your family and friends when you need encouragement and in either way you decide, I think it is nice when you do make that decision instead of floundering around wondering what your going to do next. Of course the future is uncertain, but just remember to go with your gut and think about the life you like to have with the knowledge and experience that you have already. Good luck! 🙂

    #73101
    Sharedtruths
    Participant

    The Courage to walk away.

    It takes a tremendous amount of strength and courage to walk away from a failed relationship. Finding that Inner strength to walk away from the comfortable “known” and to risk the scary “unknown.”

    We all have stories about facing adversity in our lives. Have you chosen to just give up or have you chosen to stand up.

    For me personally, Leaving my 2nd Marriage was one of the hardest decisions I have ever had to make. It took me two years to actually pluck up the Courage to leave. We fall we get up, we learn, we live, we face our fears, we human not perfect. I thank God each day for this wonderful gift that I am alive and well to share my story with others.

    Today, I can smile and be proud of myself. I am the woman I am today because I realised my magnificent truth. I am worthy and beautiful and deserve to be treated with respect.

    Finally letting go of what is hurting your heart and soul takes strength and courage. Those feelings of fear, pain and guilt have been replaced with love, kindness and self-worth.

    I now surround myself with the people in my life that matter. A big part of my healing was learning to Love me again, it was strange at first as I don’t think I had ever really “Loved Me”. For the first time I can actually live life with an Open heart. I now feel like I actually have a purpose to life and that feeling is amazing.

    My heart goes out to those struggling, I pray that you to listen to that voice inside and find the courage and strength to make the Change.

    Sending Love and Strength to you all, love Always

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