December 15, 2013 at 11:09 am #46796lynnParticipant
Hy husband is leaving me after 16 years. I have been abused and controlled for so long I don’t know what to do. I have no friends and my family is too far away to help me. I haven’t had a job in 6 years and I have student loan debt that I don’t know how to pay. Nothing is in my name, no accounts, the car, the house. All I have are clothes I didn’t buy. He has new lovers and I have to move out soon.
I have spent so much time helping others but I don’t have anyone to help me. I have prayed and hoped but nothing has happened. I want to be safe and secure. I have worth. I know I have worth. But I am afraid. I don’t know where to start. All I have is my love of self and hope…but that is failing me.
What do I do? I am so scared.December 15, 2013 at 7:43 pm #46809KlineParticipant
Maybe allowing ourselves to start from scratch is a gift we can give ourselves. It sounds like it is good that your husband is leaving your life. He doesn’t sound like a person that is supportive in helping you become you. He doesn’t sound like he was helping you bring out the gifts you have to give.
Can you start out staying a women’s shelter? There I imagine you can build the social support you need. You have a long healing journey ahead of you I imagine, but there is so much you can do along the way.
I would say when a crisis happens, you have to allow yourself to do nothing for while. If you can get away, and just allow yourself to cry and cry, then stand up and take one small step. Do anything to reach out. Any small thing, and then the next day, do two things.
Call your loan place and tell them you need a deferment for a year. But the major thing is – leave that place and don’t look back until you have a counselor who can sit with you, and help you sort through what happened. You cannot do that entirely on your own. You will be in my prayers tonight. God bless you.December 17, 2013 at 11:42 am #46925Simonete. EwdParticipant
How you’re doing…
I realize you are scared so I’m sharing some guidance to help you though…
No need to be scared with nowhere to turn because our Life is filled with wonderful possibilities. In every situation there is great value.Simply empty yourself of everything you care about, every dream, every worry, every concern, every ambition, every purpose, every disappointment, every desire. Gently let it all go.
Then put back within only the things that have real meaning. And taste the sweet, glorious freedom of being able to bring those hallowed purposes fully to life. Did you know everything you need, you are already capable of being.If you feel scared with nowhere to turn Smile from the heart and fulfill the destiny that is yours and only yours in this significant moment.
You have to live fully with joy and positive purpose not a feeling of being scared with nowhere to turn… In this moment,decide to focus on the task at hand, for that is what will move you forward.
Now you have every reason to go ahead and make it happen for you. You were born to do great things, to create much value, to make a real difference. The longing and frustration you feel is a constant reminder, so listen to what it has to say you.
Take Care Lynn
SimoneteDecember 19, 2013 at 10:08 pm #47150gigiParticipant
I was in a sitiuation like your although I was not married . I moved home even though my family werent to happy about it, I got a job in a factory no skills required and got a room in a house . I made new friends stayed away from men went out had fun wrote a list of what I knew I did not want in a man or in my life.
Then when I decided to go out there and look for someone I kept that list in my head and anything I knew I would not be able to live with in someone I moved on and then out of no where I met my wonderful husband he is not perfect but neither am I but he is loving supportive kind and faithful we are a team thats all we can ask for in love so be thankful that as scary as this journey is you can get away and you have the chance to start a fresh.
You can do this you already believe in you and you sound like a good person but going it alone is scary loads of times I nearly picked up that phone and asked my ex to take me back the fear consumed me we find it hard to change but when we do its amazing.
Good luck Lynn.