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  • #197313
    Rainbow
    Participant

    I found this on another site. It’s beautiful, hence wanted to share. I hope many who are hard on themselves can benefit from this writing

    On self-love, forgiveness of self

    I am a very judgmental person, and so when I walk along the street I see this threatening looking guy with a pitbull dog and I think… or I walk behind a very over weight girl that looks like she couldn’t find her jeans and grabbed her little sisters because she was in a hurry, and I think… or I talk to a guy in the store that clearly has no education and don’t know what he’s on about and I think… constantly these thoughts coming up when I see people. But at this stage I know that these are not my thoughts. They are clouds that come and go. I did not make an effort to arrive at them or make a logical deduction. They are simple thoughts like: “is this green or turquoise? Good or bad? Beautiful or ugly?” So, I instead of trying to stop them which I can’t or being hard on myself, I apologize. To myself. I say; “I am so sorry about these horrible thoughts that you have to bear, such rubbish. I know it is so hard to have them go through you. Whoever sends them, please be tolerant with them. Please forgive them for this ungraciousness.”

    And then the magic. I suddenly feel a love replace these thoughts. Because there is recognition of the suffering I am enduring. A warmth flow through me. I taste it and realise it is a love. And when all these people see this love in my eyes, and don’t react like they usually do. And I realise that the harsh thoughts are on me and not them. I do not allow them to be them, because I am so hard on myself. If I must do all the hard stuff then so should they. So, loving my self is also to forgive myself. You are a good person through and through and you deserve love. Love directed at yourself. I am one with them. There is not separation. Feeling love for me is feeling love for them.

    And now when I see someone unaware they have ice-cream on their chin I skip the middle and go straight to the warmness in my chest. And there is quite in my mind.

    And this reversal is to be found several other places in the mind, that ends with love of self. Focus is on the external world when it is really in yourself the white stone is hidden.

    #197357
    VJ
    Participant

    Nice, Rainbow, very nice. That’s the perfect way to lead a peaceful life (inspite of the challenges it throws)…by allowing thoughts to just be…like a cloud…coming and going. And I see a lot of ho’oponopono too in there….Forgiving ourselves for even thinking those thoughts in the first place. Hope your practice is going good 🙂

    Cheers,

    VJ

     

    #197401
    Rainbow
    Participant

    Yes VJ 🙂 I ve been practicing but just for a few min everyday. There’s just too much sensitivity and worry which keeps coming to the fore, especially in my daily interactions and my thoughts. I want to get rid of these from the root. I think these very things have me behave with supriority complex at times.   am glad I am aware of them now. I really like talking and I am pretty outgoing but if I worry too much about what I speak and the obsessive thoughts after that, I realise I have an overthinking mind and maybe i have to find a sense of self/confidence ..woah! Too much inner work to do. At my age I should have been happy, confident, healthy relationships but yeah I am working on wrong beliefs as a result of my upbringing. But being a spiritual scientist and working on these techniques are so exciting 🙂 I’ll accept my journey at the moment and keep moving forward. I’ll keep trying my best.

    Have a lovely day VJ 🙂

     

    #197735
    Bobby
    Participant

    Rainbow…THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!

    Thank you for listening to that still little voice (the loving and forgiving one! LOL!) that urged you to share that incredible post.

    I am THERE! I, too, am struggling, learning and growing to loving and forgiving myself more and more because…I’ve been trained since birth it seems…that THAT kind of thinking…is wrong and SELFISH.

    But, when I considered that loving myself, INCLUDES everyone else in my life…it made/makes it EASIER to embrace…to digest…to internalize and thus express internally (to myself) AND externally (to others and the world around me)!

    There are better days than others now, and the idea of letting things come…and go…like clouds…without attachment or self blame, is one of the BEST visuals EVER!

    Your post reminds me that I’m not alone even, in THIS particular struggle, and that EACH OF US, TRULY deserve, all the love we want so much TO GIVE!

    Biggest. Hugs. (to you) EVAH!!

     

    #199433
    Christine
    Participant

    Rainbow,

    I to relate! grateful that you posted this. I love to read things that I can relate to and this for sure I can. I have been working on self-love in my life. I have actually been reading a book called loveability by Robert Holden. I highly recommend it. I brought the book on amazon for only about 2 dollars (used)! It has been a great read and has taught me a lot about self-love. The society we live in never taught us about loving ourselves. Since I was a little, I constantly looked for love elsewhere. It has been a rough journey for me to expect myself for who I am. I am thankful that I am now aware of self-love and it’s importance. My goal is to love myself so much that fear won’t interfere.

    I really like that you talk to those thoughts. I am going to try this out when the judgements come in. This is a great way to not allow those thoughts the power. I don’t want to judge. I just want to live out of love. The only problem is life is a roller coaster and I admit the fear creeps up and I can get caught up in it’s trance.

    much love,

    Christine

     

    #199471
    Rainbow
    Participant

    I ve been on the quest of self care for a couple of years now. The path is still a mystery but learning bits and pieces here and there from people around and posts like these. Little pointers can be remembered and put to use especially during SOS periods lol :D. Walking the path with you Bobby. Let’s walk each other Home. Biggest hugs to you ❤

    Christine, I was too ignorant about self love. I was too busy loving others and my behaviour was too outward, that I ignored myself. I realised that this too is a mental defilement that needs to be addressed. Any mental defilement brings suffering to us and others around. This was an eye opener for me. I still don’t know what self love is but I know for sure I am walking the path, don’t know how to articulate it. Hi-five to you. Lots of love to you dear sister ❤ take care

    #199473
    Rainbow
    Participant

    And yes fear is such a big lie.. it is a horrible thing. I am learning the sneaky behaviour of fear which only serves to prolong our suffering.. no more fear.. you can’t deceive me any more.. and I will look up the book you have mentioned. So glad it’s helping you. Thank you Christine 🙂

    • This reply was modified 2 years, 3 months ago by Rainbow.
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