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    how to survive a separation after 40 years of marriage


    accept there is an impermanence to anything and everything we hold dear; including deep and long relationships.

    Alexey Sunly

    Best way to survive anything is in company of other people. Do you have a passion or a hobby on which you spent a significant amount of your time while married?


    Looking back at my separation, an analogy that helped me experience the full gamut of emotions I needed to get through the process is, think of the person with whom your separating as passing away. Yes, I know she still exists physically, but the women on whom you bestowed the identity of “wife”, she’s no longer there.

    Whatever image you have of that loving, caring, and happy person that has been developed in your mind over 40 years which made you hold that person so dear and in such high esteem, that person does not exist anymore. Before you move on, take the time to bury, cry over, and grieve over the end of your relationship and that person. Its worth to take the time to mourn such a passing as you would mourn the passing of any loved one.


    Move on. Right away. Nothing else to do. Keep moving. Thoughts of her will come, no doubt. Just don’t follow them. Don’t interpret. Feel the pain of the memory, but don’t stay with it.

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