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Sexuality and Anxiety

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  • #361618
    Tara
    Participant

    Hello, my name is Tara and I and 20 years old. I am writing here today to find some piece of mind about my sexuality. I am in a loving relationship with a man whom I love deeply and often see myself marrying and having a family with. We have been together for about six months. He is absolutely perfect in my eyes and I feel guilty for this questioning very often. Before this worrying was brought on, we were absolutely care free, this being the best relationship I’ve ever been in in my life. Within the past week or so, I have been worrying about my sexuality to the point of panic attacks and constant anxiety. Let me explain, I have always enjoyed lesbian/bi porn since the moment I started watching any porn at all, but never thought anything of it because I was and never have been sexually or romantically attracted to a woman in real life. I do not have many women friends, but this is simply due to the fact that I am quite picky in who I choose to spend my company with. Those female friends that I do have, I have never been sexually or even a bit romantically attracted to.  In fact, while the idea of having sex with a woman is intriguing, it often repulsed me till now. I think about this all day long and it is always in the back of my head floating around causing me constant worry. I also do not see myself having a future or relationship with a woman, as I have only been romantically attracted to men my whole life. I would like a husband and kids. Because of this constant anxiety, my relationship has been effected, and I have not told my SO the reason because of how much I know it would offend and confuse him.

    We are currently on a break due to my panic attacks and anxiety clearly showing I am not comfortable with who I am, and because of my boyfriends fragile mental health, but plan to get back together in the near future after I have had some counseling and figured myself out.

    All I want to know is, do these thoughts alone make me bisexual/lesbian, or do you think my anxiety/mental state, or maybe even OCD is pushing me to think about this issue more often than normal.

    • This topic was modified 4 weeks, 1 day ago by tinybuddha.
    • This topic was modified 4 weeks, 1 day ago by tinybuddha.
    #361654
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Tara:

    First thought that comes to my mind is that it will be a very good idea if you don’t watch any kind of porn from this point on. You may very well suffer from OCD, like you suggested, an OCD that is focused on your sexual orientation at this point, so you don’t need any more porn triggers to fuel this current obsession that it troubling you so much.

    “do these thoughts alone make me bisexual/ lesbian”?- no.

    Do this exercise- think to yourself: I am an eagle.

    – are you?

    You had a thought (I am an eagle), but that didn’t make you an eagle. Similarly, the thought I am bisexual/ lesbian, doesn’t make you these things either.

    I suffered from OCD for many years, so I will be glad to offer you what I know and learned about the disorder.

    anita

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