- This topic has 3 replies, 2 voices, and was last updated 9 years, 10 months ago by
.
-
I am making a new thread since the old topic thread is irrelevant now.
Background information from previous thread I made:
“I want advice about what to do next. I’m full of regret about what I said to her. It was wrong what I told her. I was trying to helper with a bad habit. I apologies to her two days later. The problem is she is giving me the silent treatment for a week. Yesterday, I tried messaging her and she didn’t respond nor does she respond to my emails. She hasn’t block me, so I’m confused. I sent her a message before I tried contacting her explaining how I was wrong and sorry for what I told her. Then I tried contacting her later in the day and she didn’t respond. I know she could have responded, but she didn’t answer my call. This is how I know she is giving me the cold shoulder. Then I sent a second message telling her I was wrong and sorry for a second time about what happen. I further explain that I had a hard time sleeping all week, full of regret, and sorrow. Lastly, I explained that her silent treatment was hurting me. The silent treatment she is giving me is stressing me out. I can’t resolve this without her talking to me. Should I just move on or wait it out a few days or weeks? I only known her for about 2 months.”
I just found out that she is doing this on purpose. She doesn’t care about the relationship. All this started cause I told her she plays too much video games and drinks too much. I was trying to help her. Now she is doing this on purpose with the silent treatment. She didn’t block me cause she wanted to see my messages asking for forgiveness, regret, and guilt. She doesn’t have a job and said she is a care taker for her mother/parents, but I don’t believe this. She plays online video games all day. I really did love her, but that is all gone. I told her about her video gaming addiction cause I wanted to help her not hurt her. However, She gave me the silent treatment cause she wanted to hurt me on purpose. I cried like a little baby last night for her. Now she is treating me worst than a stranger.
After I realized she was doing this intentionally, I sent her messages telling her she is a narcissist, verbally abuse me, and that she doesn’t have a job and that her parent care taking is phony. That I trusted her and that she betrayed and manipulated me. Well now she is blocking me. I guess the truth hurts. I have a future. I’m a recent chemical engineer graduate. I was close to publishing too. I’m also close to acquiring a job. Last, Friday I got call telling me that what I was asking for was too high and that my entry value is around 50k. I also need to finish my research and publish it. I worked hard to get where I am. I don’t need this abuse and I’m glad I found about her disorder and malice attitude before we got too serious.
She must be the most lonely person. She plays games online all day. That is how I met her. She didn’t play games online for months cause her computer broke down and she probably didn’t have money to fix the computer. Her girl friend also plays video games like her and both act and behave identical. Except her friend promotes her behavior by inviting her to drink with her. Her friend is a bad influence. I know she thinks she is helping her, but she is doing the opposite. Maybe in the future she will realize that I was right. It will happen when she stops playing online games to escape her reality either due to having to work or external forces take effect. Between she is 29. I though a 29 year old would be past this phase. I was wrong. I left my guard down.
I feel bad, but at the same time I haven’t lost much. I have a future that is bright like the sun. When I told her about her gaming habit and apologies two days later she started giving me the silent treatment, which depressed me. I started going to gym and working out. I’m fit. I guess it was god intervening again. I been working out almost every day since that new years eve. I still feel sad. I shouldn’t cry, but I did love her. Right now my emotions are full of hate, love, and sadness. I was willing to go all way with her even travel by plane to her. I gave her the benefit of the doubt and try to lift her low self-esteem. I feel betrayed by her. How could she do this to me. Does she not see I was trying to help her not hurt her? When we first started getting intimidate she mention she just gotten out of a big problem and had to move into her parents place. Now I’m wondering if her problem was related to her poor treatment of other people. She doesn’t want to discuss problems, but hide her head in the sand. I had numerous time had to ask a very direct question to get her to answer a question. She also mention she isn’t as “balance as she appeared.” I never though she was so imbalance and so selfish and immature for a 29 year old. I have lingering love for her and with rising levels of hatred for her. I am sad, but most all I’m disappointed that she could not compromise. I’m still in disbelief that she refused to accept my apology for some thing that seems so little. I know my feeling for her will pass. This last month and this month was roller coaster of euphoria, love, joy, sadness, guilt, regret, and loss. I still can’t believe this happen.
After hours thinking about what happen, I sent her one last email last night. I told her, I forgive her for what she has done and that if she ever needed help she can call me, but that any thing between us is over. I also told her I would give her my game account since I don’t need it any more. I mention other things in the letter, but that was the most important part of the email.
This single act released me of any guilt, regret, sadness, and hate. When I was writing the letter, I remember that forgiving is important in life. I used to be a Jehovah Witness when I was a child and teenager, but I left due to academic pursuit. People I knew didn’t treat me well after I left, but ultimately I was right and the organization made changes years later I told the elders and father needed to happen. I forgave every one that did me wrong. Like this women, I had a no forgive and no forget policy, but I learned that is a miserable way to live. That is why I forgive her for what she has done. When I sent that letter, all of my frustration, anger, sadness, regret, and guilt vanished. I feel happy once again. I am in the right. She can’t hurt me in any way. If she chooses to accept my help, she must admit she was wrong. I told her in the letter that maybe when she matures more, she will remember what I told her and recognize that I was in the right.
I know those elders and my father later recognize I was in the right. I know many felt afterwards I was unjustly push out of the organization cause I wanted to purse a scientific career and not spend as much time at church or going out for door to door service. At time, the organization stress short careers that didn’t require huge time commitments. Profession like a doctor, engineer, or a PhD were not encourage. She will realize this when she matures. Assuming this happens if not it doesn’t matter.
I’m happy for myself. I recognize that I have matured and it doesn’t matter if she understand why I’m doing what I am. What is important is what I think and feel is right.
I have an update. Today, I talk to some else that knows her and he said she was not interested any more. Apparently, she didn’t know what do about the situation, so she stop talking to me. It would have helped if she would have communicated better instead of leaving the phone on the cradle. I hate it when women do this. It’s not that hard to communicate. I find this behavior immature. At least I know it’s over now. Good riddance. It was always more trouble than what it was worth. There are still lingering feelings for her, but I say in two weeks I will be fine. It was a short relationship, so the damage isn’t severe.
I already started about a week and half ago working on other activities like exercising at the gym, programming, watching movies, and work. I will be learning Korean in class and native environment in a few weeks. I still can’t believe she plays so much video games. Perhaps this was better for me, than having to deal with her addiction had things gone according to plan.
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 