I think that you are not being unreasonable to ask for what you want. It’s important not to neglect yourself or your needs in a relationship. But, I do think you need to pinpoint what your needs are, specifically. By doing that instead of complaining, you can voice out to your partner what you need and also stand up for what is important to you. By that I mean, instead of telling your boyfriend that you don’t want him to play golf and instead spent alone time with you, say that you need some intimate and alone time with him to bond and grow as a couple and that you would appreciate him making time for that every week or whenever it is you feel the need for.

If I were you, the way I would address the situation is by taking some time to really think about my needs and what makes me happy. And then after doing that, considering if the relationship, as it is, is meeting my needs. If it is, then your complaints might be misguided feelings of missing your partner or perhaps personal insecurities, that one can outgrow and look beyond for the sake of a healthy relationship. And if not, then you need to talk to your partner, very honestly but without blame. No one is at a fault here. It is a matter of finding a harmonious rhythm in your lives. Consider that the petty things like golf or saving money instead of spending it on a babysitter can be your partner’s little ways of keeping his life under control and at ease.

Reflect on your needs, then voice them out kindly and lovingly. If they cannot be met, do not be resentful. The man has a lot of responsibilities and everyone has their reasons. Just accept that this relationship is not what you both need and move on, or accept that this is the situation you both have to be in for a while, and enjoy it. Make the best of it. There is beauty in growing a bond with a young child. There is intimacy in togetherness, as a family. Find the little things that could make you happy. Or otherwise, accept the reality of the situation as painful as it may be and move on to your next adventure.

Correction: “… and you can’t twist his arm and make him UNHAPPY with the situation.”