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Should I be patient or move on?

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  • February 15, 2016 at 12:48 pm #96082
    bwale
    Participant

    Hi everyone
    I met this guy some months ago. He said he likes me and I like him and well we are eventually in a relationship. Sometimes when we are talking via text he just zones out. Some days he’s all in some days he just leaves my messages hanging. I asked him if he was serious about our relationship he said he was but its just that he hasn’t been in a relationship in a long time and its hard to adjust. He said he wants us to be together but he is still adjusting. Should I be patient with him or could he be playing mind games?

    February 15, 2016 at 1:47 pm #96090
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear bwale:

    I don’t know. But let’s say he is not playing mind games with you and is perfectly honest. The situation you have then is of a guy who is sometimes attentive to you and sometimes he is not attentive to you. You don’t know what he is thinking or what his future behavior will be like, but you do know how he behaves now. And you know what he tells you and what answers he gives you when you ask him questions.

    Talk to him some more, when you get a chance, in person, if possible. Ask him what he means by adjusting, ask him maybe about why he was not in a relationship for a long time and maybe about his past relationships. Not as an interrogator, but just so to get to know him.

    By the way, are you still planning on moving out from your father’s house? And continuing your education/ getting a job?

    anita

    February 17, 2016 at 10:15 am #96305
    Samwise
    Participant

    Ask him to explain how a relationship should be and what he expects out of you and what you should expect out of him. If you want attention and him to not leave you hanging and he does it, then it’s up to you to talk to him about it…which you have already done. He needs to give you a better answer than he is just adjusting. The truth is that when we want something we make time for it. Does he look like he is long-term material? If so, is it worth looking into finding a solution? I guess decide what you want. Go to him to hear his side and let him know how you feel. His reaction and actions will let you know if he is in it for the long run or not.

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