Hi Anita,

Thanks for responding. Yes I know the song, Nothing Compares 2U, I really like it actually, its so raw and exactly how it can feel. I have habit of leaving things too soon – be it relationships, a job, even therapy – I feel bc I do not give it enough time, Iam afraid people will have expectations that I cannot live up to, and then I will fail and people will criticize me, and maybe leave me or something. Whenever it feels like it’s too high of a level for me, I quit before they can discard me. It really keeps me stuck in places even though I long to prove to myself I can reach something ‘higher’, if that is the case. Be it in jobs, men, social life, anything…I am quite shy in nature, but I feel that is not really me, but the truth is, I think, I come from a family with critical parents, even though now I also feel they are loving. My father was always a bit reserved in showing his love for us, so I always wondered…even though he is always there for us, and so is my mum, I just feel like they wanted us to be a certain way, I guess. I never dared to become fully myself. My sister is good at shaming others too – whenever she and they suspect someone is showing off, they are met with remarks like “who do they think they are?”, and so I do not dare to come out of my shell too much.
May I ask, do you have any tips on how to look at a lost love? How to think about it? Everybody says, “just keep on dating, he was nothing special”, but for me it feels like we had something special. Maybe it was the breaking it off too soon that keeps me wondering if it would have been good.
Ah, the question I asked was: I was wondering since you told me a bit about your background, and (like me?) it may not have been too easy for you as well as me to rely on your own judgment (I believe you told me this), if that at times presents itself in other things, like it does in the writing, that you used AI (which I have no ordeal over ofc!)? Just curiosity, as I do recognize it – being a people pleaser, I usually wear some mask of “kindness” with many people I meet. It’s so tiring. I am trying to be my true self, but how to know what that looks like?

My mum, btw, also is caring too much about other people’s feelings, like me, and like her, I have great difficulties to contain my emotions.

Have a lovely day, Anita,

Warmly, or as we say in Dutch: “groetjes” (‘small greetings’)
Emma