Hi,

so i had a relationship with my ex like for 4 years. We are still in contact. the relationship was more like breaking up and going back together again. and its crazy that this keep repeating. but after tow years of the relationship i finally decided to move on. Cuz i realized that he has changed a lot back then, it felt like he is not into me anymore although he kept telling me that he really loves me but deep down inside i knew he is not the person anymore i knew. he would be busy with his own stuff forgetting that i exist but still would tell me that he loves me which did not make any sence to me. I would still be fighting for our love if i had the belive that he still feels for me. So it did not seem to work out and i left him.

After 1 year of the breakup we contact again. We remain friends for a while and somehow he managed to make me feel that he has changed a lot over the year , in a good way. i felt for him again. But same shit kept repeating. he wouldn’t have enough time for, busy with his own stuff, but then at the end of the day he would tell me he loves me. None of this make scnce to me. Like why? why do u make me feel so special on a day, and on another day it feels like i don’t even exist for him. I still doubt i am his priority.

right now we are talking through  text and sometimes over phone calls knowing that we aren’t in a relationship .we would still continue to talk. so last night he called me and expressed his feelings  that he has for me. he told me that it was a big mistake of him not realizing what i was to him. he was crying so hard and was literally begging me to forgive him for what he has done to me, for not valuing me and lot of other stuff. i did not say anything and hung up. i LOVE him more than anything else . but i am afraid of my heart getting broken again. i fear the pain he caused me. i feel like i wont be able to bear any pain if he gives me any kind of neglected behavior, i would go crazy. it seems like his trying his best to reach me but my heart is not responding just because of the fear . what if he hurt me again? would i still be mentally stable to tackle this? this thought keeps haunting me for real.

i really need suggestion of u guys…