What a wonderful thing to have a forum like this where people can support each other. So happy to have found this.

I don’t imagine that I am alone in what I am feeling, and hope that you all can share some insight on what helped you.

I’m 25 years old, and have been living with my partner for about a year and a half. We have been together nearly three years total. Lately…some very familiar feelings of the past have started to creep up.  I have started to get annoyed with him a lot more..I am very sensitive to all the little teases and jokes that come from him. I am unable to take criticism from him. Comments from him about how to improve something are hard to take positively.

Lately I have been thinking about how our relationship started. He went on a date with me while still in a relationship with his ex girlfriend. He claims they broke up soon after our date. But the idea hurts me. Last March, I found a post of his on a public forum (similar to this one) that he is “compelled to find someone” that makes him feel the way his first love did (different than the ex before me).

I never tell people these things…because I know they will think of him differently. Judge him, perhaps. I certainly didn’t tell my therapist. Still…as I write these things out, I am so deeply saddened. Embarrassed that I did not value myself enough to end things with him at each of those times. Disgusted that I feel this way…and simultaneously feel so much love for how much he has helped me grow.

I guess I’ve started to see him as a reminder of how weak I can be sometimes. How desperate for love, that I will let anything pass. I care about him. I don’t want to end this, but I want to value myself. Is it possible for me to give myself love and see him with compassion once again? Can I continue to grow in this relationship?