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Should I still keep going and wait for her?

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  • September 4, 2018 at 1:47 am #224239
    Brennan
    Participant

    A friend of mine introduced me to a foreign girl whom he has been friends with for years already. I would admit that she had already caught my attention even on the first time I saw her. I did not wait further that after a few months of casual hanging out, I started pursuing her. I don’t mean to rush but I just can’t afford to wait much longer. However, that’s what actually happened to me; I waited for her and still am waiting because she keeps on telling me she is not yet ready. She’s not pushing me away nor giving me hints if she also likes me back so I’m quite confused. Everytime I try to confront her, she cuts me off. I don’t know whether I should keep going or just stop right here.

    September 4, 2018 at 5:35 am #224251
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi Brennan,

    She is being polite. She doesn’t want to be involved romantically. She doesn’t want to be romantic with YOU. I know this is not good news. She is trying to save you your dignity. There is nothing to be confused about. Politely back WAY off. Then maybe, just maybe, she’ll eventually miss the attention you gave to her. (Don’t count on it!) But the trick of it is to politely IGNORE her and let HER come to YOU. (Unlikely to happen, but it has happened.)

    Best,

    Inky

    September 4, 2018 at 8:41 am #224283
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Brennan:

    I am surprised that I do have something to add to Inky’s excellent, well articulated, perfect response, but I do, in general regarding people not being clear with you.

    As I have experienced, lots of people will not be clear with you in the future, not saying Yes or No, leaving you guessing, hoping, thinking Maybe. And even if you ask: is it a Yes or a No? Many will still not tell you which one it is. Sometimes they don’t know themselves.

    So what does one do, “keep going and wait” and wait.. and wait?

    Better not. You can tell the person who is not clear with you something like this: “unless you clearly communicate to me that it is a Yes, I will assume that it is a No.

    And then act on that assumption. Because really, without the clear communication you request, it is a No.

    (see to it that you are clear with people, saying your Yes and No clearly, makes life easier that way).

    anita

     

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